“Dammit, Logan!  There’s nothing going on, and I’m sick of trying to convince
you of that.”  Scott got up off of the bed, walked over to the other side of the
room, and sat down in the armchair there.  Legs drawn up against his body, arms
round his knees, he was glaring at Logan, the red glow behind his glasses bright
in the dark room.

Logan glared back, sitting on Scott’s bed.  “I saw you two in the Danger Room. 
He was all over you.”

“He was *hugging* me.  He was worried about me.  We’re friends.  We’ve been
friends since high school.”

“You were fuck buddies not that long ago.”

“Not that long ago?  Okay, maybe from where you stand at 160 years old or
whatever, it’s not that long ago.  For those of us who live a normal life span –
which would include both Warren and me – it was a long time ago. Years ago, and
it barely lasted two minutes. It was after you and I had broken up, if you
remember.  At the same time you were spending your nights fucking truckers and
you wouldn’t even take my calls.”

“Now we’re gonna fight about that?”

“You bring up ancient history and I’m the one fighting about it?”

“You haven’t been walking in on me and any truckers, have you?  I even told you
I wouldn’t train Billy if it bothers you that I did him that time.”  He shook
his head in disgust.  “And I don’t know why the fuck we’re talking about this
anyway, and not about you and Worthington practically jerking each other off in
the Danger Room this afternoon.”

“We weren’t doing anything!  Warren’s *straight*, for Chrissakes!”

“Yeah?  How does that work?  Like all those ‘straight’ guys who used to pay you
for blowjobs?”

Scott made a visible effort to calm down, and continued.   “He’d never been with
a man; he’s secure enough not to be completely freaked out by the idea of trying
it. He wanted to see what it was like, I wanted to get off.  We did it a few
times and we stopped.  That’s it.”

“Right.”

“He’s been with a succession of women since – you can’t have missed that,
there’s a different one around every few weeks.  He’s never shown any interest
in sex with me – or any other man – since he’s come back to the team.  I have no
interest in doing it with him. Okay, so Warren and I fucked a few times.  Why is
that such a big deal to you that you can’t stop bugging me about it five years
later?”

“You were alone with him all evening, Scott.  I’ve been waiting for you here. 
You show up hours after you’re ‘meeting with Warren’ in your office.  What am I
supposed to think you were doing all that time?”

“Talking.”

“Yeah right.”

“You’re the mutant with the heightened senses.  Do I smell like I’ve been having
sex?”

There was a long pause before he answered.  “No.”

Figuring that was as close to an apology that he was likely to receive, Scott
came back to bed and put his arms around Logan.  “I haven’t had sex with anybody
but you for a long time,” he said.  “I haven’t even wanted to.  I’m hot for
*you*.   I think we’re damned lucky we’re still hot for each other after all
these years.  I don’t want to do it with anyone else.  If I did do it, I’d tell
you.  I told you that time with Simon, didn’t I?” Logan nodded.  “Why are you so
fucking possessive that you can’t believe me?  I don’t lie to you, Logan.”

“I know.  I just... I don’t know what it is.  I feel like you’re mine and he’s
trying to move in.  You’re mine, Scott.”

Scott shook his head.  “You don’t own me.  It’s a sex game.  A really hot one. 
I don’t even know why.  I was never into that kind of stuff before you, but it
goes straight to my cock when you talk like that.  But it’s still pretend.”

“I know that.”

“I don’t do it with anyone else because I choose not to.  I choose us.  I don’t
think it would be good for us if I were having sex elsewhere.  I feel like we’d
lose something.  But I’d tell you the truth, no matter what.”

“I know.”  Logan leaned back against the headboard and Scott laid his head on
his lover’s belly.  Logan absentmindedly stroked his hair and continued to
speak.  “I don’t want to do it with anybody else, either.  Well, it’s not that I
don’t *want* to – sometimes I do.  Mostly women.  But I don’t do it.”

“Is that hard for you?  I know you’re not like me.  I know you miss sex with
women.”

“Not that much.  I like women, I won’t deny it.  But it’s different with you,
better.  And I think it’s partly because it’s only you I’m doing.  I feel like
it would fuck everything up, like we’d lose something, like you said, if I
fucked somebody else – man or woman.  So even when I want to I don’t do anything
with anybody else.  The nightmares, the memories – sometimes it’s too much for
me to take.  Nobody can help me like you do, nobody ever could.”  He took
Scott’s hand, spoke softly.  “You’re the one I want, Scott. When I’m in a bad
way, well nothing makes it better like sticking my cock in your mouth or up your
ass.”

Scott laughed.  “You’re so romantically eloquent; you should write sonnets or
something.”

Logan snorted.  “I mean it, though.”

“I know.  I’m not mocking the sentiment.  It just sounded funny the way it came
out.”  Scott sat up and thought a little more.  “I love you, Logan.  I want to
help you any way I can.  If sex helps, well great – the best kind of therapy. 
Fun for both of us.”  They smiled at each other. “You’ve got to get over this,
though.  Last year you were sure I was doing it with Jean-Paul.  Now you’re back
to being jealous of Warren.  I’m not fucking anybody but you.  If that changes,
I’ll tell you.  I don’t think it will.  Can’t you just trust me?  I trust you
with my life, you know, lots of times.  You can trust me.”

“That’s different.  I even trust Worthington in combat.  But yeah, I believe
you.  I’ll try and remember how much I trust you next time I come in and he’s
got his hands all over you.”

“What do you have against him, anyway?”

“He’s an arrogant bastard.  He thinks he owns the world.”  He thought a little
more.  “He’s a good fighter, though.”

“He is.  And you thought I was an arrogant bastard who thinks he owns the world
when you first met me, didn’t you?”  Logan didn’t say anything.  “I thought you
were an undisciplined self-centered prick.  People are more than what they seem
at first glance.”  Logan just grunted.  “I didn’t have sex with him.  All we did
was talk.”  He bent his head back down to Logan’s belly, tongue flicking at
Logan’s navel briefly.

“You made your point, Cyclops.  I believe you.”

“That’s not my point,” Scott replied, moving his head lower.  “We’ve established
I don’t smell like I’ve been having sex.  Do I smell like I want it?”

“You smell as horny as a tomcat.”

“Glad to hear that heightened sense of smell still works.”  And then he stopped
talking, because his mouth was full.

************************************************************************
Jean caught up with Scott the next day, during his poetry class. She sat in the
back of the room for the last fifteen minutes, listening and smiling.

“You’re so good at that,” she said after the students had all left.  “I could
listen to you talk about poetry all day.”  Then, voice changing from fondly
appreciative to businesslike, “But I need to talk physician temps instead.”

“I’m sorry.  I know I was supposed to get back to you on that.  I haven’t even
reviewed their resumes yet.”  He looked sheepish.  “But really, I don’t need to
interview them.  What do I know about medicine?”

“I thought you’d want to talk to them, just to get a sense of who would fit in
here.  They’re all three very qualified.  They’re all interested in filling in
while I’m on leave, and perhaps working here part-time afterwards.”

“Good.  We could use another doctor.”

“I agree.  Really, Scott – any of them would be fine.  And I’ll be here.  I can
certainly supervise, do some work.”

“Poor you.  Not much of a maternity leave when you don’t even get to leave.”

She laughed.  “Nah, I like it that way.  I want to keep my hand in.  So, should
I just choose?”

“If you don’t mind.  Are any of them mutants?”  She shook her head.  “Well, then
which ever one you think would be best.”

“I’ll go with Abramov, then.  She’s very personable, has good credentials, and
seems really interested in mutant medicine.”

“Settled, then.  Thanks.  I should meet her, I suppose.”

“I’ll bring her in next week and talk details.  I’ll make sure to introduce her
to you.”  She looked at him closely.  “Scott, are you okay?  Warren tells me you
found some upsetting entries in Charles’s journals.”

"God knows,” he said, “I was always aware that Charles had a kind of
cold-blooded streak.  How else could he have put together a combat team of kids
like us?”

She nodded her agreement.  “Sometimes he was so focused on his vision, so
concerned for our people as a whole, he had trouble seeing individual people.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It’s you who got him over that, Scott.  You tempered his drive with compassion
and concern for the kids.  If it weren’t for you we wouldn’t have this school. 
We’d still be sending kids off to mortal combat instead of helping them to think
about and discuss Sylvia Plath’s thrill at cutting her thumb instead of an
onion.”

Scott shrugged.  “He talks about me like I’m a *thing* - a tool.  A better model
than the others, who ran away without completing their training.   If there was
one thing I’ve been sure of all of this time, it’s that Charles Xavier loved me.
I was willing to do anything for him, anything to deserve that love.  Now, well
I think it was all a sham.  I was just a means to an end.”

She shook her head.  “That’s not true.  Look, Scott, I *know* he loved you.  I’m
a telepath.  I knew before I even met you, when Charles first came to recruit
me.  He radiated it – affection, pride, devotion.” She put her hand on his arm. 
“When Charles came to my house, he bowled my mother over.  Well, you know how he
was – compelling, charismatic, utterly persuasive.  She was ready to sign me up
that day.  I was drawn to Charles’s vision, his plan, at least enough to visit
this place and see if I could live here.  But mostly I agreed to come here
because of you.  Who was this boy who could inspire such love in someone like
Charles Xavier?  I had to know.”

***************************************************
I’m more and more convinced I’ve made the right choice.  His adjustment is bound
to be difficult, but he’s much more motivated than the others.   He began
training immediately, with a determination I’ve never seen before, and
extraordinary physical stamina, as well.  No matter how grueling the regimen, he
never complains.

I got off to an awkward start with him.  He assumed I was bringing him here for
sexual purposes!  I didn’t anticipate that, although I ought to have.  In the
past year no one has sought him for anything else.  I was quite flustered at the
time, but I made clear that that was not my intent.  We’ve said no more about
his year of prostitution.  I think he’ll likely forget about it over time, if
his mind and body are kept occupied.  I am doing my best to do both.
As well adapted as he is to being without vision, it has to be a challenge to be
in a completely new environment.  Yet he met the challenge resolutely.  Within
days he had carefully mapped out the whole property in his head.  He learned
Braille faster than anyone I’ve ever taught and he’s quickly catching up
academically, along with acquiring combat skills.

He’s had a complete physical from a mutant friendly doctor.  He was
undernourished but otherwise generally healthy, and he’s thriving on regular
meals and regular exercise.  Luckily he’s HIV- and I certainly expect he won’t
be engaging in any activities that could change that status.  There’s some minor
brain damage that registers on the EEG, and he reports an accident as a child,
with a blow to the head and severe concussion, so perhaps that was the cause. 
It’s hard to know what effects there are.  He scores extremely well on IQ and
other aptitude tests, as well as motor skills and hand/eye coordination, so
there’s no obvious sequelae.  I wonder, though, if his inability to control the
optic blasts is related to the brain damage.  He manifested over a year ago, yet
has absolutely no control yet.  This is atypical, in my experience.

It’s key that I find a way for him to control his powers.  I hope to be able to
do so with telepathic means, but I’m not sure I’ll succeed, particularly if the
damage to his brain is in the mutation control area, as I fear.  I’m trying a
different approach now, looking for some transparent or translucent substance
that can absorb or block the energy of the optic blasts.  If so, I’ll make
glasses from it.

For now, it’s important that he open his eyes from time to time so the muscles
in his eyelids don’t atrophy.  I’ve been taking him to remote locations to do
so.  If he looks up and nothing is above us, the blasts just dissipate.

He was terrified to try the first time.  We were at the house in Vermont, and I
took him outside and told him to look up and open his eyes.  As eager as he is
to please me, he could not bring himself to do it.  His lids just clenched
tight, almost against his will.  It was affecting to see.  He wants so much to
hurt no one.  Eventually, with some slight mind control persuasion, he relaxed
enough to open his eyes.

He was profoundly grateful, could not stop thanking me.  It was almost as if I’d
given him the gift of sight.  I intend to take him to the ocean next.  Off
season, I can find somewhere where there will be few people and we can go to a
remote stretch of beach.  What joy he’ll feel to look at the ocean!  It will be
good for his training, too.

Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



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Ororo was half-way through the lesson on Appomattox when the door opened and
Havok walked in. He was showing the effects of the previous day’s training
session, she noticed. Or, more specifically, the results of the “sparring” he
and Logan had done before the training. His left eye was swollen shut, the
purple lid surrounded by a darker ring. Other wounds on his face and neck were
bandaged, but inexpertly. Storm reflected that it was unlikely that Jean had
tended to him — he appeared to have done his own wound care. That must be very
painful, she thought, looking at his ravaged face.

Havok’s movements were suggestive of pain as well. He was not exactly limping,
but was walking slowly and gingerly into the classroom. He stood at the back of
the room for a minute, than pulled a chair towards himself and very slowly
lowered his body into it. Storm noticed him grimace slightly, but mostly he
seemed attentive to the lesson. The students, accustomed to visiting X-Men in
their classes, continued the discussion without a break.
When class was over and the students had all filed out, Alex moved to stand up.
“No, don’t,” Ororo said. “Stay there.” She walked over towards him, sitting down
on a desk nearby, her long legs swinging a bit. “Thanks for coming to see me,”
she said. “Was my note unclear? I didn’t expect you until the end of the class.”

“Now you’ll be thinking I show up at everything early. I actually was later than
I meant to be. I was going to be here for the beginning of class, but I’m not so
quick getting ready with this,” he said, gesturing to the sling.

“And why would you want to attend a high school history lesson?”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” She laughed at that. “I’m bored
out of my mind on the DL. I just thought I’d see what the class was like. I’ve
always been interested in the Civil War, ever since Shelby Foote got me hooked
on it.” Looking at her he added, smiling, “Don’t look so surprised. I got a
taste for history in prison — the first time, when I was a kid — and it never
left me. There’s a lot of time doing nothing. Reading helps the time go by. I’d
rather read history than most things. And besides,” he added, “romance novels
are kind of frowned upon inside.”

She laughed at that, then turned serious. “How are you feeling? I don’t like how
you’re moving. Those injuries are clearly causing you pain.”

“I’m okay.”

“Have you been to the infirmary?”

“Yeah.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“If you knew, why did you ask?”

“I just wondered if you would tell me the truth, or lie. Just as you lied to me
yesterday when you said that Jean had given you permission to participate in the
training session.”

Alex smiled at her again, this time a little sheepishly. “I didn’t specifically
say she’d given me permission.”

“You implied it and did not correct me when I said that I understood that she
had.”

“You got me there.” He raised his hands in a gesture of resignation. “But I need
to train. I’ll be no use to the team — and likely to get myself killed, as well
— if I don’t keep up with my training.”

“I understand that, and agree. You are not the first X-Man to spend time hors de
combat. We have methods to continue training. I would be happy to work out a
training plan with you, considering your injuries and working around them. You
should not be in the group exercises as of now. Will you work with me
individually?”

“I’d like that.”

His tone was enthusiastic, but it occurred to Storm that she would have
preferred to have him look her in the eye when he spoke to her. It was hard not
to feel that his words were addressed to her breasts. She chose to ignore that
and continued. “I will devise a plan for you. I will work with you in individual
sessions, and also assign others to do so. Some of the physical training will
have to wait on your recovery, but I don’t anticipate that being a problem. What
I think you need practice with most is using your powers, your plasma blasts.
Your aim was erratic yesterday."

“I know. This fucking shoulder throws off my balance. And then, when I was
practicing with Logan — I don’t know. He’s fast; more of his punches landed than
I thought would. I think I got a little punch drunk. I couldn’t see clearly,
couldn’t think clearly. But yeah, I wasn’t getting the blasts to go where I
wanted them to. It was frustrating.”

“That is definitely something I can work on with you.  We can immobilize
different parts of your body, impede your vision, induce temporary impairments
of balance and so forth and give you target practice, so that you can improve
the placement of the blasts under a variety of semi-debilitating conditions. We
can do all of that with the facilities of the Danger Room, while you are
healing, without inducing further injuries.”

“Oh good. I think I like your methods better than Logan’s.”

She laughed. “I also want you to learn to fight while injured. It’s something we
all need to know how to do. You are on the disabled list now, due to your...
accident, but there will be other times when you are injured in combat and will
need to continue to fight. So we can see this as an opportunity for you to learn
how to fight with an injury, and learn under carefully controlled conditions.
It’s an essential skill — essential to the team and potentially essential to
your survival.”

“Thank you. I do want to get better at this,” he said, looking at his hands.
“Everyone else on the team seems to have much more control.”

“Everyone else on the team has been in training for years. I’m impressed by how
much control you do have, given that you did not have our advantages. We’ll
ensure that you get more control.”

“Great! When do we start?”

“Tomorrow. I’ve scheduled the Danger Room for you at 2:00. You’ll be working
with Northstar.”

“Oh. I was hoping to work with you.”

“You will, but this session is with Jean-Paul.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, that’s what we’ve been talking about, is it not? One-on-one training?”

“Yes, but — well could it be someone else?”

“No. You will work with whomever I assign to work with you. Have you had some
sort of difficulty with Northstar?”

“No, it’s just — I’m not comfortable being alone with — ”

“I think it would be a good idea if you do not finish that sentence.” She
changed the subject abruptly. “How old were you when you came into your powers,
Alex?”

“Sixteen.”

“What opportunities did you have to learn to use them?”

“Not much. I was incarcerated until I was 18 — you know that, right?”

She nodded. “Your privacy has not been violated. We only know what we need to
know.”

He shrugged. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just not clear on who knows what
here.
Anyway, I came into my powers in prison. It was all I could do to not use them.
I was terrified of getting caught.”

“Most mutants find it very hard to control their powers during the first few
months after manifestation. I’m impressed that you were able to keep your mutant
status a secret.”

“It wasn’t easy. I did have one advantage — I knew what was happening, since I’d
already figured out what had gone on with Scott.” He shook his head. “Still, I
wish I’d had the opportunity to train before this advanced age. I did what I
could when I could, but I was on my own. I never met any other mutants, never
got the chance to really learn how to use my blasts to fight. I wish I had.”

“We all wish that. It’s unfortunate — but understandable — that Professor Xavier
and Cyclops did not know what happened to you.” She paused, and went on. “I need
to speak to Cyclops and tell him that you did not have medical clearance to
participate in the training session yesterday.”

“You’re going to tell on me?” Alex’s smile was teasing, but perhaps with a layer
of hostility underneath. Storm wasn’t sure. “You’ve been teaching high school
too long,” he added.

“Perhaps. Or perhaps I’ve just been on a mutant combat team a long time.
Discipline is essential to success, even to survival. The Field Leader needs
accurate information about team members to maintain discipline.” She looked
straight at him. “I wanted to speak to you first. I hoped to be able to tell him
that you admitted to the deception, told me the truth now, and have agreed to an
appropriate personalized training plan. Now I can do that.”

“Thanks.”

“There is one other thing I need to speak to you about, and this I would rather
not share with anyone else.” He said nothing and she continued. “One of my
students came to me very upset. She said that you had been making advances
towards her.”

“Which one?” Alex belatedly realized that the question was an admission. “Okay,
so I asked some girls here out. I don’t know what the problem is. I know how to
take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“I’m quite sure you do know what the problem is. The students are not potential
dates for you, or any other adult here.”

“Hey, some of these girls are 17, 18. What’s the age of consent in this state?”

“That’s immaterial. They are under our protection. Romantic or sexual
relationships with the students are not permitted.”

“Relationship? Nothing went so far as a relationship! I asked a couple of girls
out.”

“I want your word that that will not happen again. No advances, no flirtation.
If I can’t get a promise from you I will have to discuss it with Scott. He’s
Headmaster of the Academy.”

“Oooh! Don’t tell the principal on me,” he replied, mock horrified. Then turned
serious, “Okay. I’m sorry. And I do appreciate you giving me another chance.
I’ll keep my hands off of the students, I promise. Scout’s honor.”

“Thank you. I do need to say that if I ever hear that you have broken that
promise, I will have to talk to the Headmaster.”

“I’ll look elsewhere for dates.” Eyes twinkling, he added “Do you ever get an
evening off? I’d be happy to take you out on the town, or what passes for ‘the
town’ around here.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ve found a potential addition to our little household here, by the name of
Jean Grey. Close in age to Scott, she is also an Alpha Level mutant. Her gifts
are psionic — telekinesis and telepathy. She lives fairly close to here. Her
parents are divorced and she lives alone with her mother, who is having a hard
time dealing with a psionic daughter. In addition, Jean herself is going through
a very difficult period of learning to control and deal with her powers.
Telepathy is an extraordinarily difficult gift for an adolescent, particularly
an emotionally fragile teenage girl. It may be necessary to suppress her
telepathic gift for some time, in order to give her time to assimilate
understanding of her mutant status. I could begin by training her on the use of
telekinesis.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though. First I must visit the Grey household and
see if I can convince Mrs. Grey to entrust her daughter to my care. I hope she
will agree. Jean and Scott could well be the nucleus of the combat unit I wish
to develop.

Scott’s training continues to proceed on an extremely rapid trajectory. I have
him on a program where he engages in very realistic simulated battles using the
equipment in my simulation lab, which he has dubbed “The Danger Room.” The ruby
quartz glasses have made an enormous difference in his capabilities. He was
formidable in combat even without vision, but is much more so now that he can
see.

Scott had an excellent idea the other day. If we could develop some sort of head
gear with a ruby quartz front piece and an opening that can be manipulated, he
wouldn’t have the awkwardness of taking the glasses off any time he needs to use
his optic blasts. If the headgear could be made to open partially, it might also
give him more control. I’m going to give some thought to design and manufacture.

I have great hopes for him, and remain extremely impressed with his progress. I
do have some concerns, though. Now that he can see again, he’s more mobile and
leaves the property often. I don’t wish to restrict him too much — I certainly
don’t want him to rebel and leave. Yet, I’m concerned about what activities he
is engaging in when he leaves, and what dangers he may expose himself to. I had
hoped that his time living off of sex work was only due to expediency and not
indicative of homosexual tendencies. It seems I was wrong. I worry about
exposure to disease and also about unsavory influences. I wonder if I should say
something to him, but hardly know how to bring up a subject likely to be
embarrassing to us both. Perhaps this is only a phase and if left alone he will
outgrow it. After all, he has not had much chance for feminine companionship as
yet.

I’m also concerned about the possibility that he could be taken away from me. It
is possible that what’s left of his family could seek him, or that he could be
arrested in connection with the death of his father. I need to eliminate that
risk and regularize and formalize his residence here.

Scott’s previous demimondaine existence did not require any kind of official
documentation. Now, I wish him to live here legally, to obtain a driver’s
license, and a pilot’s license eventually, as well, as he is learning to fly.
He’s very bright and very determined and, although I love teaching him, I know
that he can benefit from the broader knowledge and exposure that a college
education will bring him. In order to be ready for him to go to college in a
couple of years, I will need some sort of official documentation.

My first step is to find out what happened after Scott’s father’s death. Does
his mother know that her son is a mutant and accidentally killed her husband?
Would she be willing to sign over guardianship to me? I believe a trip to
Goodland, Indiana is in order. As Scott himself has told me nothing about his
father’s death, saying only that he ran away from home, it’s probably best that
I not let him know my plans until I have the information I need to make
decisions about his future.


Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



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When Alex arrived, Jean-Paul was already in the Danger Room, in uniform. 
“You’re late,” he said, eyes on the clock on the wall.

“I thought you’d wait for me.”  Alex’s smirk seemed undiminished by his
teammate’s obvious annoyance.

“What’s that supposed to mean?  I did wait for you. Go put a uniform on and
we’ll get started.”

“I meant I thought you’d wait to get changed.  You know, so you can sneak a peak
at my ass in the changing room.”

Jean-Paul shook his head in evident distaste.  “I’m not interested in your ass,
except for teaching you how to avoid getting it kicked by the bad guys. 
Straight men don’t appeal to me.”

“No?”

“No.”

“How come?”

“On the whole, I find your kind crude, boorish, and sexually unsophisticated. 
Quite willing to ‘experiment’, bien sur, when they’re drunk enough.  But I
learned early that heterosexual men are... boring.   Even when a man is very
physically attractive,” and here he looked at Alex intently, “just knowing he’s
straight makes him unappealing.”

“Is that right?”

He shrugged his shoulders and added, “Interestingly enough, it seems that
knowing a man is gay makes him *more* appealing to straight women.  It can make
things awkward sometimes.  Still, it’s understandable.  I imagine women don’t
like crude, boorish and sexually unsophisticated, either.”

“Well, I think – ”

But Jean-Paul cut Alex off before he could say what he thought.  “Go put on a
uniform.  We have a lot of drills to get through and I told Storm we’d finish
them today.”  Alex turned to go.  Jean-Paul called after him, “And leave the
sling in the changing room.”

“Why?  I’m supposed to wear it for another two weeks, at least.  It keeps my
shoulder immobile.”

“I’m supposed to teach you how to fight if you’re injured during combat.  You
wouldn’t have a sling to immobilize a battle injury.  I could give you *another*
wound, if you prefer, but I thought it would be more efficient if we just go
with the one you’ve already got.”

They worked hard for the next three hours, managing to “kill” the robotic
adversaries in four of the simulations and nearly defeating them in the other
two.  “Bien,” Jean-Paul said.  “Enough for today.  You did well.”

“Well enough to overlook the comment about you checking out my ass?”

“Lay off the homophobic bullshit and we’ll do fine.”

“So what are you?  A heterophobe? You really think we’re all – what was it?” 
Alex’s grin suggested this was at least semi-friendly banter.

“Boorish, crude, and sexually unsophisticated.  No, not all.  Some of my best
friends are heterosexual,” he added, with an ironic smile.  “Not to mention our
mutual benefactor, Charles Xavier.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Alex’s tone became hostile again.

“Well, I don’t really know.  I always assumed that he was.”  He looked at Alex. 
“Oh is that not what you mean?”

“I’m just wondering what that ‘mutual benefactor’ crack was supposed to mean.”

“It’s not a ‘crack’ at all.  We live in his home.  Well, it belongs to Cyclops
now, but he is Professor X’s heir, and we are all living here due to the
Professor’s generosity.  You didn’t know him but you’re as much the recipient of
that generosity as the rest of us.  Plus, you and I have spent the last few
hours benefiting from one of his great inventions – the Danger Room simulator. 
It’s in large part thanks to this device that the X-Men are as effective as we
are.  We used it to train in Alpha Flight, too.  I’d be dead several times over
if not for this place,” he added, looking around.  He waited to see if Alex
would tell him what was bothering him, but he remained silent.  Jean-Paul
continued, “You worked hard today and it paid off.  These were not easy
simulations.  They’ve stumped far more experienced operatives than yourself.” 
Powering down the simulator, he repeated, “You did well.”

“Thanks.”

“You could be good for the team.  And the team could be good for you.  It’s an
opportunity to learn to fully use your powers, to be part of something
worthwhile.  It’s also a chance to continue your education, if you so choose.”

Alex laughed.  “I’m a little old for that.”

“I think you and I are about the same age and I just started college,
part-time.”  He shrugged.  “Very part time, but I find I’m enjoying it a great
deal.  I never thought I would go.  Bien sur, I never finished high school.  But
living in a school – I find it makes one aware of possibilities.  And the
generosity of Charles Xavier – even after his death – makes some of them...
possible.”

“It would be nice if his posthumous generosity extended to paying our salaries.”

“It will.  Soon, I believe.  I think Angel had underestimated how distressing
the continuing financial constraints would be to the team.  Now he understands
better.  I’m confident he’ll look for a way.”

“That would make all this a little more palatable.”

“I’ve gained a great deal through my association with Alpha Flight and the
X-Men.  It took some time, though, to really benefit.  I had a large chip on my
shoulder that was impeding my progress and preventing close friendships with my
teammates.  I think you’re suffering from a similar liability.  Get rid of it
and you’ll find a lot of opportunities open up for you.”

“Sorry.  The tendons are healing but the chip stays.”

“The angry young man demeanor has a certain cachet in one’s teens and early
twenties.  But at our age it starts to seem a little pathetic.”

“Hey, that’s me.  Boorish, crude, sexually unsophisticated and pathetic.”  He
smiled, but Jean-Paul didn’t smile back. “Thanks for the advice,” Alex
continued.

“I’ll give you a little more.  The ‘fag’ talk doesn’t go over well here, not
just with me.  You’re getting a reputation for inappropriate speech and it won’t
help you.  Homophobic talk is out of place here, as are deprecating remarks
about non-mutants.  My partner’s not a mutant – I won’t have him or our son
hearing that kind of talk.”

“How chivalrous of you.”

“I’m quite serious.”

“I don’t doubt it.  You certainly have always seemed completely humorless to
me.”  Jean-Paul didn’t answer.  Alex thought about what he’d said.  “Son?  You
and your... boyfriend have a child?”

“Yes.  Ezra.  He’s two and a half.”

“How did you do that?”

“It’s part of my mutation.  I can fly, travel at super speed, and also get
pregnant and give birth.”

“Really?”

Jean-Paul laughed.  “No.  I was joking.  Trying to prove I’m not completely
humorless.”  Alex smiled and Jean-Paul continued.  “There are many strange
mutations, but men do not give birth, even among our kind.  Adam and I adopted
Ezra.”

“Is that hard to do?  For someone like you?”

“Someone gay or someone who’s a mutant?”

“Well, both I guess, but I was focusing on the gay part.”

“Oui, or you would have said ‘someone like us,’ I imagine.  It’s certainly
easier for a married heterosexual homo sapiens couple, but there are ways.  And
both of Ezra’s birth parents were mutants, so that was less of a barrier.  Ezra
himself is a mutant and has manifested very early.”

“At two and a half? Really?”

“Yes, it’s extraordinarily early.  Still, he is in the first generation of
children with mutant parents – birth parents in his case.  They seem to come
into their powers earlier.  In any event, this is a great place for him to grow
up – I feel lucky to be here.  As to adopting as a gay couple, we cannot be
legally married in this benighted country, so Adam had to adopt him singly at
first.  We’re still working to acquire all legal rights for me as his father, as
well.”

“Even though you’re the mutant?”

“It’s just how it worked out.”  He shrugged and continued.  “I meant what I
said, Alex. As a gay couple and a mixed subspecies one, we deal with all manner
of prejudice, but we don’t deal with it here, and I won’t put up with that
homophobic crap or the mutants-as-homo-superior bit in front of Adam or Ezra.  
I will also warn you that there is a lot of concern about how one speaks to the
students here.”

“Yes, I’ve gotten that impression from Storm.”

“Well, then it must be true if you’re hearing it from both of us.  I’m telling
you, if you talk like you have to me in front of the Academy students you may
well find yourself out on your boorish, crude, sexually unsophisticated, yet
very nicely shaped ass.”

Alex’s grin came back.  “Ah, so you have been looking.” He held up his hands.
“Okay, okay.  I’ll stop.”

**************************************************************
I really should be sleeping.  I need to get up in just a few hours to catch my
flight back to New York.  Still, I want to write down everything that happened
here now, while it’s fresh in my mind.  And it’s only within the past hour that
I’ve been able to stop shaking with anger enough to pick up a pen.

I expected that Scott’s mother would have profoundly mixed feelings about him,
particularly if she realized that her husband’s death had happened because of
his mutation.  Accidental as it was, it’s still necessarily a very difficult
thing to accept.  I thought it likely her mother love would be at war with her
grief for the loss of her husband. I believed her relief to hear that Scott is
well and being cared for would be tempered by the knowledge that he is suffering
greatly with guilt over his father’s death.  I knew that she’d be confused and
unsure of where to turn.  At least I thought I knew that.  I had planned to
offer to continue to care for Scott, to ask her to let me become his legal
guardian.  I expected her to accept the offer with gratitude and perhaps a
little guilt at her inability to care for him herself.

What I found was someone so lacking in sympathy for her son – for both of her
sons, as it turns out – that she hardly seems deserving of the name “mother.” 
She has no idea that Scott killed his father with his optic blasts, does not
even know that he’s a mutant.  Yet she wants nothing to do with him, and solely
because she believes him to be a homosexual.  He’d written love letters to
another boy and his father’s discovery of them – and the very public humiliation
of Scott by reading them aloud in front of neighbors, Scott’s brother Alex, and
the object of Scott’s affection – is what led to the great emotional turmoil
that resulted in Scott’s manifestation and his father’s death.  Alex, the
younger brother, confessed to the killing, saying he’d hit his father with a
heavy paving stone to make him stop hurting his brother.  Katherine Summers
believes that’s what happened.  She has no idea that she has one mutant son and
another who has confessed to a crime he didn’t commit to protect his brother. 
And she’s ready to write them both off – one for being a homosexual, and the
other for killing his father in defense of his brother.

Of course she told me none of this.  As soon as I told her that Scott was with
me she cut me off and said as far as she is concerned her sons are dead.  I read
her mind to find the rest.  And nowhere in her consciousness could I find any
sympathy, any kindness towards these boys who have been through so much.

She is unaware of much that Scott has endured, completely  ignorant of the
strength and grace and simple dignity he managed to maintain in an
extraordinarily difficult and degrading situation.   She doesn’t have the
knowledge of his perseverance in the face of adversity that I do, so she can’t
feel the admiration I feel for him.  Still, it is her distaste at the idea that
he would love another boy that prevents her from finding out what he’d been
through, from learning how he has maintained his sense of self and even his
sense of joy “under the terrible burden of destiny.”  She has no idea what she’s
missing in giving up this extraordinary young man.  Nor does she care to find
out.  I shook my head in disgusted amazement at the vitriol in her brain.

And the younger boy?  Imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, out of pure
loyalty to his brother.  I cannot let that injustice stand.  I will find where
he’s held and see what I can do to assist him, now and in the future.

I’m glad I did not tell Scott where I was going.  He is not ready for this news.
I will find some other way to regularize his position with me, now that I know
how averse his mother is to even knowing about his life.  Asking her to sign
guardianship papers is out of the question.
Perhaps it would be best to give Scott a new birth certificate and new
parentage.  I will give some thought to how to best accomplish that.  And I
won’t tell him about his brother’s incarceration, which would likely leave him
feeling both guilty and powerless.  There is plenty of time for him to find out
what happened after he ran away.  I will reveal it to him when I have
implemented a plan to assist Alexander Summers.

I worked all of this out right away, after speaking to Katherine Summers.  But
then I came back to the hotel and thought some more.  I find myself troubled by
my own behavior and attitudes, perhaps more so than by those of this woman I
don’t know at all.  Am I better than her?  I read my entries earlier on in this
diary and wonder if I am.  I see comments about hoping Scott’s homosexual
behavior was just from expedience and not indicative of something integral to
his personality.  I see references to “unsavory” actions and worry that I’ve
been as guilty of unreasonable hostility as this woman and her late husband,
condemning their own son simply for falling in love.  It’s true that I didn’t
know about his love for that boy, and only knew of his degrading experiences
afterwards.  Still, it was not merely the necessity of prostitution that I found
revolting, but also the possibility – now, as I know, the actuality – that this
young man I admire so greatly is homosexually inclined.  This prejudice in
myself may be more subtle than that expressed by Scott’s parents, but it’s no
less vile.  I must root it out.

Yes, this episode is leading me to recognize failings of my own.  Perhaps some
of them are not reparable.  One thing is for certain, though. My admiration and
affection for that boy have grown strong over the months he has been with me,
but it was seeing his mother’s callousness that has made me realize just how
strong.  I am a peace-loving man, but I truly wanted to kill her for her cruelty
towards him.  This I know, now and for the future:   Scott Summers will never
lack for parental love, not so long as I live.


Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Don't pick lemons.
See all the new 2007 cars at Yahoo! Autos.
http://autos.yahoo.com/new_cars.html

Scott was asleep when Logan showed up in his room.  It was late and Logan hadn’t
expected to find him awake.  On the other hand, he hadn’t expected to find Scott
sprawled across the bed fully clothed, either.  He stood still, looking at him
for a minute.  The room was dark, but Logan’s heightened senses picked up enough
light from the hallway and the digital clock by the bed to see perfectly well. 
There were tears drying on Scott’s cheeks. Ruby quartz glasses and a leather
bound journal were on the bed close to hand. But Scott’s face looked peaceful,
serene.  Logan picked up both the diary and the glasses and put them on the
night stand by the bed.  Sitting down next to Scott, he ran his hand through his
lover’s hair saying, “Hey Sleeping Beauty.  You want to take off your clothes
and get into bed?”

Scott startled awake.  Eyes closed tighter, he felt around with his hand.  Logan
smoothed the clenched eyelids saying, “They’re closed enough.  It’s okay. Relax.
I’ve got your glasses.  You don’t need them now, do you?  Nobody’s here but me.”

“What time is it?”  Sitting up, rubbing his closed eyelids now.

“1:30.”

“Did you just finish rounds?”

“Yeah.”  Stroking the side of Scott’s face now.

“Everything okay?”

“Uh huh. Kids all where they’re supposed to be.  Perimeter’s secure.” Tugging on
Scott’s t-shirt he added, “At least take this off.  I’ll rub your back.”

Scott pulled off his shirt and lay prone on the bed again.  Logan kicked off his
shoes, and climbed on top of him, straddling, rubbing his shoulders and back. 
“Everything okay with you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Better than I’ve been for a while.”

“You ready to tell me what’s going on?”  Strong strokes up and down Scott’s back
as he asked.

“Charles’s journals.  You were right – I should have considered more whether I
really wanted to know what’s in them.  I found out some things that shook me up.
But I’ve kept reading.  I think I’m better off the more I know.”

“I think you are, too.”

“You don’t know what I found out.”

“I know.  I’ll listen if you want to tell me.  If you don’t that’s okay.  I just
think you’re right – better to know more.  I’ve found out some bad shit about my
past.  I know it’s not the same thing as finding out about somebody else, but
still.  Knowing’s better than not knowing.  But you really got to want to know
it, to be ready to find out.  You’re ready now, Scott.  That’s why you’re
reading them.  It took me a long time to be ready to find out about me.”

“I *think* I’m ready.  I wasn’t so sure when I started reading them.”  Scott
sighed, focusing on Logan’s hands rubbing him.  “That feels so good.  You’ve got
the best hands.”

Logan pulled Scott’s pants and boxers off of him, tossing them out of the way. 
He looked at him stretched out there for a minute, then pulled his own clothes
off and got back on top of his lover.  Straddling him farther down, sitting on
Scott’s legs, rubbing his cheeks and bending down to lick him right where the
crack began, eliciting a moan that made his cock twitch.  “That what you been
talking to Worthington about?” he asked, refocusing – with some effort – on what
they’d been discussing. “What you found in the diaries?”

“Yeah.  Warren and Jean.  They knew him then.  With Hank dead, they’re the only
ones left who did.”

“Not ‘Ro?”

“Not right in the beginning.  She came along a little later. It was just me at
first, then Jean.  Then Warren and Hank, together.”

“Like that picture in your office – the four of you.”

“Yeah.  We *were* the X-Men then.  Not much of a team – four kids learning how
to be superheroes and just plain dumb luck none of us died trying.”  He sighed
again, Logan’s fingers and mouth on his cheeks and thighs.  “There’s lube in the
nightstand drawer.”

“I don’t need it.  Not yet.  We’re not gonna fuck, not right now.”

“Whatever you say.”  Scott thought for a minute.  “You believe me, don’t you? 
That I’ve been talking to Warren about Charles?  Not doing anything else with
him?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“Nah.  I may be too possessive like you said, but I’m not asking for all your
time, for all of you.”  He slapped Scott lightly on the ass.  “As long as this
is mine.”  Then lying down on top of him, reaching under to grab onto his hard
cock, rubbing up and down the shaft, “And this.  Mine, eh?”

“Oh yes.”

Logan climbed off of Scott, lying on his side on the bed next to him. “Turn over
on your back.  I want to suck on it.”

Scott did as he was told.  Logan leaned down and licked the underside of Scott’s
cock, slowly, balls to head and then back down, taking time to savor the taste
and the feelings.  Scott’s fingers were in his hair, twisting and pulling, his
moans full of longing.  Logan lifted his head, looking at Scott’s face, eyes
closed and mouth open.

“I love the sounds you make when I do you, Scott.  I’m gonna suck the cum out of
you, see what kinds of sounds I get then.”  Leaning his head back down, he took
the cock head in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.  And then sucking
hard and deep, taking the whole shaft in and pulling all the way to the top, and
back again.  In and out, deep and strong, rubbing with his tongue and throat the
whole time.  One hand on Scott’s thigh, the other under him, finger teasing the
opening, then pushing in.  He held it inside there as he sucked and licked and
tugged with his lips.

Scott was pulling on Logan’s hair now, whimpering and crying and breathing hard.
Logan couldn’t see his face, but he knew his eyes were closed tightly, tears
squeezing out of them.   “Oh God!” he was saying, and “Oh Logan!” and “Oh yes!”
and then just a loud “Oh!” as the cum spurted, filling Logan’s mouth and sliding
down his throat.

They kissed afterwards.  “That was so good,” Scott whispered in his ear.  “You
always know what I need.”

“Lie face down again.”  Slicking his cock, then spreading Scott’s cheeks and
pushing it in.

“You’re so easy to get into right after you cum.  Good and tight, but relaxed,
easy. Yeah, move with me.  You got it.”  Fucking him slow and strong, legs
intertwined, hands on top of Scott’s, fingers interlaced holding him down. 
“Yes.  Fuck.  Good.”  And then no more talk, just movement and heavy breathing
and his cock shooting deep in his lover’s hole.
Logan rolled off of him afterwards.  Lying on his back, he patted Scott on the
ass.  ”Mine?” he asked.

“Yours.”  After a pause, “Can I reclaim my glasses now?”

“Sure.”  Logan reached to get them, hand brushing the journal.  “You were right,
you know.”

“What about?”

“We’re damned lucky we’re still hot for each other.  Just looking at you gets me
going.  It’s never been like that for me, not lasting like this.  It’s got to
mean something.”

“We’re a good match.”

“So, do you want to tell me what you’re finding out?  I know I wasn’t around to
know what he was like then, but I can still listen.  And I might be able to
offer something.”

“Of course you can, Logan.  You’ve got a lot to offer.”

“Besides a good time?”

“In addition to a good time.”  Logan chuckled at that.  “You’ve told me lots
about your past as it came back to you.  We’ve puzzled it out together.  Maybe
you can do the same for me.”  He hesitated.  ‘I just – well, some of the stuff
in the early entries was kind of shaking my faith in Charles.”  He threw an arm
over Logan’s chest.  “He talks about me – in the beginning – like I’m just some
tool, some new device he’s found, or even one that he’s inventing.  It was hard
to talk about with you.”

“You mean ‘cause Jeannie and Worthington told you how wonderful he was, anyway,
and you figured I wouldn’t’ve?”

“Yeah, something like that.  Charles cared about the whole human race, mutant
and non-.  He had a vision.  He had charisma.  But sometimes he didn’t have the
individual involvement, caring about specific people, you know?  I knew that
about him, I always knew it.  But it was hard to see that applied to me.”  He
kissed Logan on the shoulder.  “You’re the opposite.  You don’t give a shit
about the human race.  You’d never kill or die for an idea.  But the people you
care about – that’s who you’ll risk your life for.  Charles learned to care
about individuals, over time.”

“Hey, give me long enough and maybe I’ll learn to care about ideas.”  They both
laughed.  Logan added, “So did he know what happened to your father?”

“Yeah.  How did you know?”

“I just don’t think you could have hid it from him all those years.  He knew
your brain too well.  He was a real fucking powerful telepath.  Jeannie didn’t
know you were gay, and she was doing it with you for years, but the Professor
knew you were into men.  How could he not know this?  I know you tried not to
think about it, but it was still there.”

“True.  It turns out he knew a lot I didn’t realize he knew. He didn’t tell me
what he knew, what he was doing.”

“That’s him all over.”

“Yeah, I know.”  He paused.  “Do you want to hear about it?  This part I haven’t
told anyone else.”

“Not even Worthington?”

“Nope. I don’t want him to know, just you.”

“Yeah, I wanna hear it.”

“Charles went to Indiana.  It was about a year after I got here.  Right after
Jean had joined us.  He saw my mother.  He never told me.”

“I gather she was just as friendly to him as she was when Adam found her last
year.”

“Exactly.  What did you say about her and Oliver’s mother?  That they could get
together and start a cold, heartless bitch club?  You were dead right.  It was a
kindness, really, that he didn’t tell me.  Or at least he meant it to be.”

“He didn’t want you to know she didn’t want you back?”  He felt Scott nodding
against his shoulder.  “I tell you – knowing’s better than not knowing.  It took
me a long time to realize that.”

“I know.  I don’t blame Charles for not realizing.  And, like *you* said –
you’ve got to be ready.  There was no way I was ready for that information then
and Charles knew it.  He knew I needed to feel secure in his love, not the
rejection of my mother.  I feel like – whatever his intent at the beginning,
whatever his limitations – by that point he truly loved me.  What he did he did
out of love.”

“So, that’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“But there’s something else?  Something that wasn’t so good?”

“How do you know?”

“I know you.  Something’s bugging you still.”

“Yeah, and it’s something I don’t want anyone else on the team to know about,
only you.”

“I can keep my mouth shut.”

“I know it.”

“What is it?”

“He found out about Alex.  He knew he was in that juvenile detention center. I
haven’t read the next volume yet, but I think Charles went to see him.   That’s
what it says at the end of this one, that he’s going to go find him. And try to
help him, bring him here when he’d finished his sentence.”

“Then why didn’t the Professor bring him here when he got out?  Why didn’t he
tell you about him?  And why didn’t Alex tell you he knew him?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe Alex doesn’t know it was Charles.  Maybe Charles went
there under an assumed name.”

“Even if he did, Alex has got to know now.  I mean, how many bald mutant
telepaths in wheelchairs are there?  He’d have to realize who it was.”

“Maybe Charles used his mind control to wipe his memory.  I don’t know.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

“I know.  And I have such a bad feeling about this, like I might find something
out I really don’t want to know.  But you’re right - knowing is better than not
knowing.  I’ll read some more tomorrow.  I’ll tell you about it.  You’ll help me
with this?  Listen to me? Help me understand it?”

“Sure.  We can talk about it some more tomorrow, after you’ve read more.”  He
leaned in and kissed Scott, tongue stroking his. “Right now, I want to fuck you
again.  What do you say, Cyclops?”

“Yeah.”


Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
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with the Yahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.
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I need to make contact with Alexander Summers very soon.  I’ve been watching him
on Cerebro and it appears that he is on the verge of coming into his powers.  I
don’t know yet what his gift is, but if it’s anything related to his brother’s
it could be disastrous for it to emerge in that facility.

Seeing him will not be simple, though.  The policy of the detention center is
that only parents or those they designate may visit.  The result is that he has
not had a single visitor during the time he has been there.  It’s highly
unlikely that his mother will provide me with the letter of reference I’d need
to gain entry as a visitor.  I could produce a letter purportedly from her, or
even use mind control to get her to sign one.  However, my concern is that if
they check with her, my deception will be revealed.

I think I’m better off to come up with a different pretext.  Perhaps I can pose
as a psychologist doing research on incarcerated youth and interview him as one
of a number of subjects.  I can certainly come up with some realistic-appearing
documents and provide some mind control convincing in addition, if necessary. 
Of course, I still run the risk that after the visit my stratagem will be
uncovered and they will find out that the documents are fraudulent, and maybe
even that I’m a mutant.  However, if that does happen, they won’t know that I
had a special interest in one of their inmates, so his mutant status will not be
revealed.  It’s important that whatever I do I do not endanger this young man
through my actions.

Another question I’m mulling over is what to say to him when I meet him.  I do
think I should reveal my true purpose in coming there, and let him know that I
am aware of his mutant status.  I will also offer him assistance in concealing
and controlling his powers.  But how much to tell him about my future plans? It
seems unlikely that I can arrange for an early release for him.  He still has
another two and a half years until he turns 18 and is no longer subject to a
sentence for a juvenile offense.  Will it be helpful to him to know that when
the time comes he will have somewhere to go, a safe environment for mutants?  Or
would the promise of a home so far off in time and place just underscore the
length of his imprisonment?  Perhaps I’m better off to suggest to him that I
might be able to secure his release before then.  Sometimes false hope is better
than none.

One thing I’ve decided not to tell him – that his brother is with me.  Nor will
I tell Scott that I’ve found his younger brother.  Scott has no idea that
Alexander was convicted of his father’s death.  I fear that that would be news
he would not handle well.  He might even want to go to Indiana and turn himself
in, telling the authorities that he, not his brother, was responsible for their
father’s death.  After all the work I’ve put into his training, where would that
leave me?

*******************************************************

Logan looked up from the page and shook his head, ruefully.  “Ain’t that a kick
in the pants.”

“Yeah.  After all that stuff before about making sure I never lacked for
parental love, I get to this.  You know how I told you I felt like he thought of
me as some sort of machine or tool before?  Well, reading this I felt like I was
a valuable racehorse or something – lots of money and effort put into it, can’t
let anything upset it.”  He smiled wryly.  “Sort of makes you wonder if the
‘parental love’ was just another part of the care and feeding.”

“Do you mean that?”

“I sort of do.  I mean, I don’t doubt that he had genuine concern for me, real
affection.  I lived with him for years, from when I was sixteen until his death.
I saw him in all sorts of situations, including really stressful ones.  We’ve
had serious disagreements, even major fights, and he always treated me with
affection and kindness, even when he made clear he had strong objections to the
choices I made.  There had to be something real behind that.

“But for Chrissakes!  The way he writes what he’s thinking when there’s nobody
to see it but him.  What he says about me.  And about Alex!  Lying to him for
expediency’s sake –‘false hope better than none,’ my ass.  In some sense this
has to be the more genuine Charles Xavier than the face he prepared to meet the
faces that he met, if you know what I mean. I wish I’d known this while he was
still alive.  I’d at least like to accuse him of being totally without human
feeling – see if that got a rise out of him.” He shook his head.  “You know it
really sucks being furious with dead people.  You can’t yell at them.”

Logan chuckled.  “I know the feeling, although I usually don’t want to yell,
just kill them.  Slowly.”  He clapped an arm round Scott’s shoulder.  “I’d kill
him for you, if he was alive.  If I thought that’s what you really wanted.  But
you don’t.”

“No.  I want him back, and not to kill him.  To yell at him, but not just that. 
To make him explain himself, to at least have him say he regrets some of this.”

“Like the song says – you can’t always get what you want.”

Scott sighed.  “But sometimes you get what you need. And, truth be told, I got
some of both, along with the answer to my riddle about whether he meant for me
to see these.  Look at this.”  He pulled the notebook out of the bottom of the
pile and opened it from the back, exposing the last entry.

**************************************************************
When I read over these journals I’m shocked by the emotions expressed in them. 
Or, often, by the lack of emotion.  Was I really so focused on my goal that I
lost sight of the people in front of me?  Lost sight of the children in my care?
I have given years of energy and effort into creating the X-Men, and I’ve given
my love and my care to these young people who comprise the team.  I ache with
fear for them whenever I send them into combat.  I don’t know if I could bear it
if they didn’t all come back.  I care for them so deeply I hardly know how to
express it.  And above all for Scott – my Field Leader, my shining son, my hero
who brings them back again and again.  May he never see what I wrote about him
in the earliest of these journals.  May he never know that there was a time when
I didn’t feel for him what I do now, lest the bond be cracked ‘twixt son and
father.
********************************************************************
“So he never meant for you to read them.”

“No.  I guess he forgot all about them.”

“How could he forget?”

Scott shrugged.  “I don’t know.   They were sitting there a long time.  Maybe he
put them there, put them aside, and thought he’d deal with them later.  But it
was fourteen years from that last entry until he died.  It looks like he didn’t
use that safe for anything else.  Maybe he totally forgot it existed.  If I
hadn’t been so anal about reading in order, I could have started at the end and
known he didn’t want me to read them before I made a decision.”  Ironic smile on
his face, he added, “But this way I got to hear some regret, at least.”

“Would you still have read them? If you’d known he didn’t want you to?”

“I don’t know.  I might have felt bound by his wishes, but I might have found
the curiosity outweighed that.  I’m kind of glad I didn’t have that decision to
make, that I read them in good faith, sort of, not realizing he didn’t want me
to.”

“Are you glad you read them?”

“Yeah.  I found out some hard stuff, but I also think it’s stuff I ought to
know.  Like you said, knowing’s better than not knowing.”  He sighed.  “It
doesn’t always feel like it, though.  Particularly the stuff about Alex.”

“So he did see him?”

“Yeah.  A few times.” He shuffled the journals, pulling out an earlier one. 
“You want to read it?”

“I think I’ve read enough.  Can you give me the Cliff Notes version?”

“Yeah, sure.”  Scott flipped pages as he spoke.  “Well, he did it like he said
he would – came up with a pretext of being a researcher studying juvenile
delinquents.  But he told Alex the truth – or some of it, anyway.   He told Alex
that he, Charles, was a mutant and that Alex was, too, and was beginning to
manifest.  He offered to help Alex suppress his powers until he could control
them.”

“He could do that? Suppress mutant powers?”

“Yeah, through mind control.  He did that with Jean’s telepathy until she was
ready to handle it.”

“And your brother took him up on his offer?”

“No, but Charles did it anyway.”

“How come?”

“How come Alex didn’t want him to suppress his gift or how come he did it
anyway?”

“Both.”

“Well, Alex didn’t want him to because he didn’t trust him.  And I can’t say I
blame him.  As far as Alex was concerned, Charles was just this strange guy who
shows up and starts talking about mutants as the next step of evolution and
offering him a place and a life’s mission when he got out of that prison.  Alex
couldn’t relate to any of it.  I doubt he was even convinced yet that he *was* a
mutant. As Charles tells it, he was completely dubious.  He was fifteen years
old and in prison for a crime he hadn’t committed, spending his time with kids
who were a whole hell of a lot older and tougher than he was.  He was scared for
his life a lot of the time.”  He patted the journal.  “It’s all in here.  Alex
wasn’t buying what Charles was selling.  He didn’t want a vision for a mutant
future – he wanted practical help right then and there.  Charles suggested he
might get him out early like he said.  Well, false hope wasn’t better than none
– it just convinced Alex that Charles has grand plans but doesn’t deliver.  And
he was still hoping,” and here his voice got soft, “that I’d show up and rescue
him.”  Scott sighed again.  “I think if he’d told Alex I was with him, if he’d
told me about Alex – it might all have come out differently.”

“Why didn’t he?”

“He didn’t tell me because he worried it would upset me.  A few more of those
‘high strung race horse’ passages around that whole issue.  He worried I’d want
to spring him, that I wouldn’t wait for his sentence to be over.  And he’s
right.  We could have done it, too.  No one knew who the X-Men were then.  We
could have gotten him out.  I would have done it, with Charles’s blessing or
without.  Jean, Hank, Warren – they would have done what I told them to.  They
wouldn’t have let Alex just rot there, no matter what Charles said, not if I
told them what happened.  And I would have – as ashamed as I was of what
happened to my father, I could have put that aside if I’d known there was a
chance to save Alex, if I’d known he’d taken the rap for me.  It all would have
been different.”

“Why didn’t he tell Alex you were with him?”

“He’s less clear on that.  He thought he could win him over without it.  He
worried, I think, that Alex would want to talk to me and then we get back to
objection number one:  don’t upset the Field Leader with trivialities like the
knowledge that his brother confessed to murder on his behalf and took his place
in prison.” Scott shook his head.  “You know, I just about hate him when I think
of that.  I’ve forgiven him for a lot, including letting Sabretooth and Toad out
and all that led to.  And since one thing it led to was me being kidnapped and
almost killed, it felt personal. It was a hard thing to forgive, but I did.  I
got over it.  I don’t know if I’ll get over this one.  I’ve got a feeling that
forgiving dead people is harder than forgiving the living.”  He shrugged. 
“Well, I’ll see, since I’ve likely got to do both.”

“Who else you mad at?”

Scott didn’t answer directly.  “I *hate* being lied to.  That he made bad
decisions – or at least decisions I view as bad ones – that I can accept.  But
that he knew about Alex all that time and never told me, that’s harder.  As hard
as reading that stuff about how he made me *wait* to be desperate enough. 
Charles was lying to me every day, for years.  He was lying implicitly most of
the time and explicitly when he talked about how sorry he was that he hadn’t
found me earlier.  You should have heard him – right after he got sick – telling
me how he felt he failed me.  Shit!  It was all lies.”

“You think so?”

“Not exactly.  I’ve been wondering why he said that stuff.  It was kind of out
of the blue.  I think maybe it was his way of apologizing for a lot of it, for
things he felt I might not forgive, things he was too scared to disclose. 
Particularly then – he was so sick and vulnerable and dependent on me.  He
wasn’t going to tell me right then how he’d lied, he wouldn’t want to risk my
anger and my rejection.  And later – well, he didn’t really have a later.”

“He had enough time to tell you where your brother was before he died.”

“Yeah, he did.  And that’s going to be the hardest to forgive him for.”  Scott
slammed the book.  “Damn you, Charles Xavier!” he said to it, softly.

“So, who else are you mad at?  Me?”  Scott shook his head.  “Alex?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened with him?”

“Well, Charles visited him from time to time, trying to win him over.  And then
right before his release, trying to get him to come here, join the team.”

“He wouldn’t?  Why not?  Where’d he have to go?”

“That was Charles’s hope – that he’d come since he didn’t have anywhere to go.
He’d released the control on Alex’s powers by then. He offered to bring him back
with him.  .  Alex said he needed to go home first.  Charles gave him $500 to
tide him over and for transportation, and told him to meet him in Westchester in
a couple of weeks.”

“And your mother gave him a chilly reception?”

“She undoubtedly would have, if he’d gone to her, but he didn’t.  He never went
back to Goodland. He and Charles’s money disappeared.  I’d say without a trace,
except he’s easy to trace.  From petty crimes to less petty ones to major
felonies within five years.  And then in and out of prison until last year, when
Adam found him for me.”

“And you sold your soul and the X-Men to get him out.”

“Yeah.”

“And he acted like he knew nothing of the Professor except what he’d read in the
papers.  He made you feel as guilty as he could for what happened to him.”

“Exactly.”

Logan didn’t say anything for a long time.  “Let me know if you want him dead,”
was all he finally said.

“Thanks, but I can handle him.”

*****************************************************************
Scott found Alex in the Danger Room that evening, practicing solo.  “You lied to
me,” he said, without preamble.

“What about?”

Scott laughed, short and hollow.  “Too many lies to know?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Charles had offered you a place on the team, offered to
help you years ago?”

“Oh that.”

“Yeah that.”

He sighed.  “Look, I could make up some story, but you probably wouldn’t believe
it.  I might as well tell you the truth.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“I thought you wouldn’t help me if you knew.  I thought you’d figure I had my
chance and I blew it – blew the money he gave me for transportation and the
chance at a new life.  I thought you’d leave me there.”  He looked at Scott
sidelong.  “Was I right?”

“Yes.  No.  I don’t know.  It wasn’t easy getting you out of there.  I might
have told you to wait it out.  I might have been more wary of taking you on.  I
don’t know.”

“Scott, I don’t know if you can believe this, but I didn’t know about you.  He
never told me you were with him.  It’s hard to believe, I’m sure, but he
didn’t.”

“I believe you.  Not because you’re so convincing, but because I know it’s true.
I found old diaries of Charles’s.  That’s how I know about any of this. I hate
him for not telling me he’d found you, for not telling you he’d found me.  For
keeping us apart.”

“If I’d known, I would have come with him in a heartbeat.  I would have gone
anywhere to join you then.  But to be with some weird old guy who wanted to put
together some kind of mutant army?  It just seemed crazy.  I figured I’d make my
own way.”

“Through armed robbery, among other things.”  Alex didn’t answer.  “So why are
you joining a mutant army now?  I’m as crazy as he was, you know, if that’s the
measure of crazy.  I’m trying to fulfill his legacy.  Why come with me?”

“It was a way to get out.”

“And you could have disappeared again once I got you out.  You still can. 
You’re not locked in here.”

“Are you telling me to go?”

“No, I’m asking why you’re staying.  Why you’ve stayed all these months.”

“Because you’re my brother.  You and I are all the family we’ve got, Scott.
There’s a connection between us, something important.”

“Blood is thicker than water?”

“Nah, not judging by our parents, anyway.  But there’s something, something real
between you and me.  What about this?”  Plasma force emerged from Alex’s hand,
shimmering in the air as it moved towards Scott, leaving a tingling sensation in
his chest where it landed.  “You’re the only person that does no damage to.  I’m
the only one that can see your eyes.  Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It does.  I don’t know what.  When we met – in that prison – and you told me to
take off my glasses, it did something to me.  I hadn’t seen a human being up
close and in color in almost twenty years.  You’re the only person in the world
I can look in the eye.  It’s something, something... transcendent. Transcends
the time we were apart, anyway.  But it’s not everything.  I can’t stand to be
lied to.”

“I’m telling you the truth now.”  Neither said anything for a moment.  “I’ve got
nowhere to go.  I’m not saying I’m comfortable here.  I’m not saying I’m some
sort of model mutant like you.  But I’m staying.  And I’m trying.”

“Yeah, Storm says you’re making good progress lately.”

“Does that count for something?”

“I don’t know how much.  You’re a pain in the ass most of the time, Alex.  Half
the team has complained about you to me.  And the other half probably wants to
and thinks they shouldn’t because you’re my brother.”

“Do you want me to leave?”  Alex looked more serious, more sincere, than Scott
remembered seeing him since he’d joined up.

“No,” he replied after a pause.  “I want you to stay.  I want you stop lying to
me and I want you to stop being a pain in the ass.  Do you think you can manage
that?”

Alex grinned at him.  “Time will tell.”

“Time will say nothing but I told you so.”

“Is that from Shakespeare or something?”

“Wrong century.  Auden.”

“You know I don’t know that high brow shit.”

“What did I expect from someone who spells ‘havoc’ with a ‘k’?”

The serious look came back to Alex’s face.  “I am sorry I lied.  I’d do it again
if it meant getting out, I won’t tell you otherwise.  I’m just sorry it was you
I had to do it to.  And I am trying.”

“You’re very trying – at least that’s what half the team tells me.”

“Ha ha.”

“Okay.  We’ll try, too – try to make an X-Man out of you.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t let me catch you lying to me again.” He paused and added, “I get why you
did.  It’s certainly more Charles’s fault than yours.  He should have told you. 
He should have told me about you.  I’m furious with him that he didn’t.”

“But I’m easier to yell at.”

“Indeed.  Maybe easier to forgive, too.  We’ll see.  I want to let go of this. 
I’m willing to try.  ‘What’s gone and what’s past help should be past grief.’ I
believe that; I want to live by it.”

“Auden again?”

“Shakespeare, this time.”

“I give up.”

“Good idea.”

Scott took off his glasses, looked straight into his brother’s eyes, and smiled.



Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



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In my stories, as in the X-Men movie, Scott Summers is a mutant superhero who
also teaches high school.  The movie doesn't specify what he teaches, but I've
made him an English teacher.  Xavier's Academy is a small school with a large
variety of classes to choose from.  Consequently each of the teachers takes on
several different classes.  Scott is seen in my stories teaching courses ranging
from Shakespeare to Creative Writing to a poetry survey course, when he's not
off on a mission.  As Scott tells Logan in Canadian Nights, it's kind of a
strange job. "Sometimes I teach English, sometimes I save the human race," he
explains.

With Scott a major figure in most of my fiction, the stories tend to contain a
lot of literary quotes, most of them guided by Scott's tastes in literature
(which, strangely, mirror my own). It has been my practice to publish a
literature guide providing references for the quotes in each series, along with
URLs, where available, for those wishing to read the works quoted.

This series, in addition to literary content, raises some issues that might be
of interest to some readers in the Northstar subplot.  After the literary
descriptions there is some further information on homosexuality in Judaism, and
on the legal status of same-sex parents.

Poems

W.H. Auden.  "Villanelle"
A villanelle is a fairly uncommon form of poetry, the best known example of
which is Dylan Thomas’s “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.”  Auden’s
villanelle deals with a familiar theme – man’s inability to conquer time.  The
words are sparse and the images evocative.  Read the poem and some interesting
commentary on it, and on villanelles in general, at
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/677.html

T.S. Eliot. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
This poem is one of Scott’s favorites and shows up in most of my series. 
Although Cyclops is commanding and decisive in his work life (essential
characteristics for a Field Leader of a combat team) my Scott has difficulty
making decisions in his personal life, and relates to Prufrock for that reason. 
The title of the third story, “Decisions and Revisions,” in which Scott is
trying to decide whether or not to read the diaries, comes from Prufrock.  He
also quotes the poem with reference to Charles, saying that what’s revealed in
the diaries must be more the true Charles than when he “prepares a face to meet
the faces that he meets.”  Is he right?  I’m not sure.  I don’t think Scott’s
private self is more him than his public Cyclops persona or his English teacher
persona.  I don’t even think the private power dynamics between him and Logan
are just games, or he wouldn’t find them so compelling.  I believe that
Prufrock’s view is only one way of looking at self, and that people really are
all the different facets of their personality at the same time, not a real self
that’s private and a false one that’s shown.  Read the poem at
http://www.bartleby.com/198/1.html and decide who is the real Prufock.

Sylvia Plath. "Cut"
One of the premier poets of the twentieth century, Plath’s short and troubled
life is chronicled in her poetry.  Scott is teaching Plath during the poetry
lesson that Jean sits in on.  The poem they’re discussing begins “What a thrill
– my thumb instead of an onion.”  The imagery is astonishingly vivid in the
poem.  Read it at http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/cut/.

Carl Sandburg.  "Chicago"
Probably Sandburg’s best known poem, it was featured in my X2 fiction, where
Scott quotes it to Logan and the way it resonates with the Chicago Logan
remembers makes them realize he’s a lot older than they think.  In this series
it’s Charles who quotes from Chicago, saying that Scott was “under the terrible
burden of destiny.”  The poem can be found many places, including
http://www.bartleby.com/165/1.html.

William Shakespeare.  Sonnet 23
The Shakespearean sonnets figure largely in my stories.  Scott teaches
Shakespeare and is fond of several of the sonnets, in particular those addressed
to the Fair Youth, Will’s lover.  This is one of Scott’s favorites and it gives
the title to the sixth story.  It’s also one of the most accessible sonnets, as
the language seems almost modern.  Read it at
http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/23.html.

Sonnet 27
This sonnet is about long distance relationships, before there was such a term. 
It provides the title for the second story, featuring Jean-Paul and Adam (who
spent the early years of their relationship in different countries).  You can
find it at http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/27.html.

Sonnet 30
This sonnet, about melancholy and a tendency to self-pity, is one with pretty
universal appeal.  Will tells of how sad memories can kind of overpower someone,
resulting in tears and grief.  It ends on a much happier note, though, as he
thinks of his lover (the "Fair Youth", whose identity is subject of much
debate), saying:
"But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end."
Adam references the poem when he says that "remembrance of things past" is
rushing in without summoning, when he begins to recall his night with Jake.  The
phrase "remembrance of things past" is also the title of the English translation
of Proust's novel, A la Recherche du Temps Perdu, which was featured in Safe
House.  The English title clearly comes from this sonnet, though, since it is
not a translation of the original French title.

Plays

William Shakespeare.  Hamlet.
This is my favorite play of all, and it shows up a fair amount in my fiction,
including Scott teaching a lesson about it in Commencement.  In this series, he
quotes Prince Hamlet’s first line in the play, “a little more than kin and a
little less than kind.”  It also gives the title to the ninth story.  Probably
Shakespeare's best known play, Hamlet has something for everyone:  love, death,
intrigue, theatricality, ghosts.  Read it at
http://www.shakespeare-online.com/plays/hamletscenes.asp.

King Lear.
One of the most emotionally affecting of the tragedies, Lear is a story of
parent/child betrayal – in both directions.  Charles quotes from the play in his
diary when he says that he wants Scott never to see what is written there lest
the bond be cracked ‘twixt son and father.  Read the play at
http://www.shakespeare-online.com/plays/learscenes.html.

Macbeth.
Scott quotes from Macbeth a few times in the course of the series.  Macbeth is
widely believed to be an unlucky play.  Superstitious actors often won't even
say the play's title except when necessary, referring to it instead as "the
Scottish play."  Read it if you dare at
http://www.shakespeare-online.com/plays/macbethscenes.asp

Oscar Wilde.  A Woman of No Importance.
Wilde’s epigrams and witty repartee make him eminently quotable.   Scott likes
him as a poet, too, and includes some of his poetry in the curriculum.  In this
series, the line “The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that
every saint has a past and every sinner has a future” gives the title to the
eighth story.  The Project Gutenberg version of the play can be found at
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/854.


Novels

Philip Roth.  Portnoy’s Complaint
Breathtakingly original when it came out, Roth’s story of a neurotic American
Jew has been much copied, but never matched.  It’s brilliant in its
characterizations, screamingly funny, astute in observations of human foibles. 
It also exhibits the unthinking misogyny that mars Roth’s novels.  In
particular, this one gave us the stereotype of the smothering and
neuroses-inducing Jewish mother.  Adam identifies with Portnoy and mentions that
when he tells Jean-Paul “Love me, love my neuroses.”  Portnoy is not available
free online, but can be found in any public library or bookstore.


Miscellaneous Works and Some Speculations on Biblical Sex

Tanakh.  Two books of the Tanakh (Jewish bible) are referenced in Adam’s story
about his relationship with Yossi.  As Adam points out to Jean-Paul, the books
are also included in the Christian bible (although he mistakenly says “your
bible” to Jean-Paul and is corrected). The book of Leviticus, Chapter 18, is
referenced in the prescription against anal sex as “toevah” – abomination.  See
notes below on homosexuality in Judaism for more on that.

The story of David and Jonathan and their love for each other is told in Samuel,
Book 1, particularly in chapters 18 and 20.  When their relationship is first
introduced the narrative says that David loved Jonathan “as he loved his own
soul.” That line gives the title to the story in which Adam and Jean-Paul talk
about this.  In chapter 20 of Samuel, Book 1, David and Jonathan are seen
kissing and it says “they kissed each other and they cried with each other until
David got big.”  What does that mean?  We really can’t know, and different
people have different interpretations.

It’s always difficult to try to interpret something from a different time and
place and in a different language (what I gave above is a literal translation –
some translations have it as “David wept more” or “David exerted himself” or
“David exceeded”).  We need to be careful not to impose our cultural assumptions
on a different culture.  It’s pretty easy to jump to the conclusion that they
were lovers in a sexual sense just because they kiss and love each other and
Jonathan strips in front of David and gives him all his clothing and David “gets
big” when he kisses him.  Hmm.  It kind of sounds pretty sexual to modern ears.

On the other hand we also need to be careful not to impose our cultural taboos
on a different culture – in this case our internalized homophobia - and assume
that they could not be lovers because David is a hero.  But what about those
verses in Leviticus?  Is it likely that someone portrayed as hero would violate
them?

I think that’s a complicated question.  For one thing it’s unclear exactly what
is meant by “Mishkevay Isha” – the acts forbidden between men that men engage in
with women.  Still, for argument’s sake, let’s say that all sexual activity
between men is forbidden in Leviticus and deemed “toevah” - abomination.  The
simple fact is that many things are forbidden in one part of the Tanakh yet
shown engaged in by highly admirable people in other parts.  Sex with one’s
half-sister is similarly marked “toevah” – yet Abraham and Sarah are
half-siblings and their marriage is admired.  Similarly, sex with a woman and
then with her sister is forbidden as an abomination in Leviticus, but our
patriarch Jacob married Leah and then her sister Rachel.  So, it’s not at all
unusual to see these seeming contradictions, leading some to believe that
“toevah” is not a general category, but particular to time and place.

In addition, David is not an unambiguously heroic figure.  He is shown to have
some very human failings and is criticized in the text for them.  In particular,
his sexual irregularities are condemned (e.g. the whole episode with Bathsheva).
But his love for Jonathan is not presented as anything but wholly wonderful,
except in the eyes of Saul, who is suffering from severe mental illness.  So, we
would have to conclude either that their relationship was sexual and approved of
by the author of the book, or that it was not sexual at all and approved of. 
Different people come to different conclusions.

Read the story yourself and see what you think.  It’s easily available in both
Jewish and Christian bibles (but only the Jewish ones will give you the original
text as well as a translation).  Taken in its entirety, I think it takes a huge
effort of denial to not see David and Jonathan as in love and their love
expressed physically.  But there are still some people who think Will and the
Fair Youth weren’t lovers, either.

Shelby Foote. The Civil War: a narrative.  Considered by many to be the premiere
historian of the American Civil War, Shelby Foote was not trained as an
historian and, in fact, never completed a college degree.  His history reads
like a novel, yet is known for its attention to detail and its accuracy.  Havok
tells Storm that he was hooked on the Civil War from when he first read Shelby
Foote.

Tangential Issues

A couple of issues come up in the Jean-Paul and Adam subplot of the series that
I’d like to provide a little more information on.  Adam tells Jean-Paul a story
from his youth, of having been in love with a high school classmate, an Orthodox
Jew. Jean-Paul tells Alex that he and Adam are still working on getting legal
parental rights to Ezra (also alluded to in What’s Past is Prologue).   Some
further information and further reading/viewing opportunities on both of these
issues.

Homosexuality in Judaism
The different branches of Judaism approach most things differently and
homosexual behavior is not an exception.  Traditionally, Judaism has not been
accepting of any kind of sexual contact between two men or two women, and has
not acknowledged gay or lesbian relationships.  The more progressive branches of
Judaism – Reconstructionist and Reform Judaism – have long been at least
somewhat accepting of gay and lesbian couples, and have ordained out gay and
lesbian rabbis for some time.
It can, on the other hand, be very difficult to be a gay Orthodox Jew, and
Yossi’s accommodation to his homosexuality through hiding it and eschewing a
particular sex act, is a common one.  There are few, if any, Orthodox synagogues
where openly gay members are fully accepted.  Much more common is a strong
opprobrium attached to anyone thought to be gay.

The Conservative movement attempts to be the bridge between the more traditional
Orthodoxy and more progressive Reform movement.  It tries – as its name suggests
– to conserve what is of value in long held Jewish tradition while updating
practice as needed for a modern Jewish community.  As a movement, Conservative
Judaism is currently struggling with gay issues, and particular Conservative
shuls have a variety of approaches, from full acceptance to active
discrimination.  The official position of the movement includes approval of
acceptance of gay men and lesbians, but not acceptance of same sex kiddushin
(holy marriage) and also maintains the requirement that Yossi found so hard to
comply with, that men not engage in anal sex.

A couple of good resources on lesbians and gay men in Orthodoxy are widely
available.  The documentary film “Trembling Before G-d” offers a window into the
hidden lives of gay and lesbian Orthodox Jews.  Rabbi Steven Greenberg, an
openly gay Orthodox rabbi, has written a very accessible and fascinating book on
homosexuality and Judaism, called  Wrestling with G-d and Men: homosexuality in
the Jewish Tradition.

For a summary of the Conservative movement’s current struggle with
homosexuality, see my entry at http://mofic.livejournal.com/43675.html.
Extensive discussion of the issue can be found on the website of the Jewish
Theological Seminary at http://www.jtsa.edu/cjls/index.shtml.

Legal Status of Same-Sex Parents

As Jean-Paul says to Alex, he and Adam were unable to adopt together.  He
expresses this kind of simplistically, saying that because they could not be
legally married in “this benighted country” they could not jointly adopt.

The issue is somewhat more complicated than he mentions in a brief conversation
during training, but it’s quite true that marriage affords an enormous
assortment of rights and privileges in the United States, all of which are
denied to same-sex couples (and frequently taken for granted by opposite-sex
ones).  Adam adopted Ezra as if he were single, using a gay-friendly social
worker to do the home study and a gay- and mutant-friendly adoption agency.  Now
they are adopting again – going through another home study and another legal
procedure.  In New York State, where they live, it will likely take two years to
complete the second parent adoption, and it would be a good thing if the X-Men
start getting paid again, because it will cost them.   For more information on
the achieving legal rights for same-sex parents – mutant or otherwise – see my
Gay Parenting 101 series, particularly http://mofic.livejournal.com/38183.html 
What is the Legal Status of Same-Sex Parents?,
http://mofic.livejournal.com/38183.html Tools to Protect Gay and Lesbian
Families, Part 1, Second Parent Adoption, and
http://mofic.livejournal.com/39607.html   Tools to Protect Gay and Lesbian
Families, Part 2, Civil Union, etc.


Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate
in the Yahoo! Answers Food & Drink Q&A.
http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list&sid=396545367

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 8 - "Measured Response"
Author: Talktooloose
'Verse: X-Men movieverse
Pairing: Pyro/Iceman primarily and eventually but others as well, het and hom
Warnings: Swearing, I think. It means nothing to me, so I don't
really take note. Bubbling sexuality. Implied use of hand lotion as a
sexual aid. Bad puns.
Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.
Chapter Summary: The characters react to the shooting in Pasadena. At
the mansion, they plan action; in Boston, a disillusioned Mike meets
an interesting girl; at the mutant youth meeting in New York, Bobby
makes a bold (or is it foolish) move. Bobby and Kitty wonder what's
up with all the spandex.
Betas: kuriadalmatia and lux_apollo. My betas' feedback really pushed
me to clarify both the action and the character intentions here.
Humble thanks.
Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.


The Chapter can be found at:
<http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter08.html>http://toothdemon.net/ttl/f\
anfic/dob/chapter08.html

Earlier chapters are at the DOB homepage: http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/

A comments link can be found at the end of the chapter. Your feedback
is appreciated.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Life Lessons
by ridesandruns
Characters: Scott, Jean, Warren, Darwin the Beagle
Rating: T for profanity
Genre: Humor
Summary: Scott has a crisis of confidence

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3364673/1/

Enjoy!

February's interview will be with Gersemi, author of such stories
as "Feelin' You," "Kiss Me, I'm Irish," "Domestic Life" and
the "Facades" series among others. You can read her stories at the new
WRFA site (http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/index.php) People can
suggest questions through February 9th. Send them to me at the address
below.

Thanks for your interest and enjoy the new movie!

Diane
deh@...

I've added a few essays to my website at http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/

Although it is primarily an archive for my fiction, I occasionally publish
non-fiction there on slash-related topics, in a section called "Musings."  The
essays I've recently added are a collection of writings on lesbian and gay
parenting that I'm collectively calling "Gay Parenting 101."  I thought they
might be useful to slash writers who want to include some real life gay
parenting information in their stories, and might be of general interest to some
readers.

Topics in this series so far are:

How Do Gay Men and Lesbians Have Children?
What is the Legal Status of Same-Sex Parents?
Death and Divorce
Tools to Protect Gay and Lesbian Families
Coming Out Isn't Talking Dirty
Choosing a School Which Supports Gay Families


Drop by if you get a chance.  I'd also love to hear if anyone can suggest other
topics that I should include.

Mo
Mofic Website: http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/
www.livejournal.com/users/mofic



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
http://new.mail.yahoo.com

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 9: "Like a Wave"
Author: Talktooloose

Warnings: Explicit sexual contact (het, yet!), swearing, avowals of
innocence.

Series Summary: This novel focusses mainly on the paths Iceman and Pyro take
on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal with their love for
each other. It is a novel about what Joni Mitchell calls "the dream's
malfunction" and how we can learn to make our own dreams when our heroes
fail us. Other X characters and OC's play prominent roles and the action
begins before X1, continues through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in
the aftermath of that movie.

Chapter Summary: A short chapter about kissing. Three days before school
starts, Jean and Scott console themselves, Mike and Jubilee meet again and
sparks fly, Bobby and Kitty circle round the issue, Raheem and Andi get
heated, a homeless boy works to stay alive.

Betas: lux_apollo, mofic and kuriadalmatia. Thanks as always.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us to make
sense of it.

The chapter can be found at:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter09.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/

Hi everybody,

I wanted to let you know that Gersemi's author interview is
now up at the Wolverine and Rogue Fanfiction Archive
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/categories.php?catid=9) for your
reading pleasure. So, swing by, take a look and enjoy!

Diane

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 10: "Shivering with Anticipation"

Author: Talktooloose

'Verse: X-Men movieverse

Warnings: Kitty says a naughty word, but that's about it.

Series Summary: This novel focusses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.

Chapter Summary: The first day of school in Westchester! Exhilaration
and chaos! More mutants than you can shake a stick at! Lust.
Meanwhile in Boston, Mike meets the faces of fear. St. John, where
are you?

Betas: mofic and kuriadalmatia. Thanks as always.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.

The Chapter can be found at:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter10.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob

April's interview will be with Deep_Salt_Water, author of such stories
as "Adrenaline," "Succor, "Ensnare," and "Instinct" among others. You
can read her stories at the new WRFA site
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/index.php) and/or her LJ (
http://deep-salt-water.livejournal.com/).  People can suggest
questions through April 6th. Send them to me at the address below.

Thanks for your interest and enjoy the new movie!

Diane
deh@...

Title: Sweet Home Alabama

http://rachel-martin64.livejournal.com/9829.html#cutid1

Author: Rachel Martin

Verse: Movieverse. Starts at the beginning of X3 and immediately goes AU.

Summary: Scott saves a life along the interstate and learns that no good
deed goes unpunished.

Rating: PG-13 for language. A mention of abortion that may offend some
readers.

Word Count: 7,437 (Complete)

Characters: Scott, Charles, Bobby, Ororo, Logan.

Disclaimer: The X-Men universe is the property of Marvel Comics and 20th
Century Fox. No money is being made and no infringement is intended.

Thanks to ridesandruns for the inspiration!

Notes: This story was written as part of the Summer(s) Fling challenge, at:
http://community.livejournal.com/summers_fling/profile   Authors who have
posted so far: glastea, harmonyangel, lilacsigil, minisinoo, nagi_schwarz,
resolute, ridesandruns, roguewords, sionnain, st_aurafina, stubbleglitter,
tanya_ltp, xenokattz, zoe_chan

_________________________________________________________________
Watch free concerts with Pink, Rod Stewart, Oasis and more. Visit MSN
Presents today.
http://music.msn.com/presents?icid=ncmsnpresentstagline&ocid=T002MSN03A07001

Rachel--
I have not yet had the chance to read your story-- well, it just got posted,
after all-- but I wanted to write and let you know that as soon as I saw your
name, my heart did a little skip!!  I just love your work in general, and I have
really been missing Scott lately: there's been a dearth of fic; neither Whedon's
X-Men nor Ultimate really get Scott as far as I'm concerned, X-3 was the only
possible retelling that could make me miss X-2.....
thank you so much for letting us know about the "SUmmers Fling" .... I can't
wait to find some time, pour some wine, and spend an evening with Scott. : )

Tarrenn




-----Original Message-----
From: xmenmoviefanfic@yahoogroups.com
To: xmenmoviefanfic@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Mon, 2 Apr 2007 4:09 AM
Subject: [xmmff] Digest Number 1467





X-Men Movie Fanfiction
Messages In This Digest (1 Message)
1. New Fic: Sweet Home Alabama From: Rachel Martin
View All Topics | Create New Topic Message
1. New Fic: Sweet Home Alabama
Posted by: "Rachel Martin" rachel_martin64@...   rachel_martin64
Sun Apr 1, 2007 7:10 pm (PST)

Title: Sweet Home Alabama

http://rachel-martin64.livejournal.com/9829.html#cutid1

Author: Rachel Martin

Verse: Movieverse. Starts at the beginning of X3 and immediately goes AU.

Summary: Scott saves a life along the interstate and learns that no good
deed goes unpunished.

Rating: PG-13 for language. A mention of abortion that may offend some
readers.

Word Count: 7,437 (Complete)

Characters: Scott, Charles, Bobby, Ororo, Logan.

Disclaimer: The X-Men universe is the property of Marvel Comics and 20th
Century Fox. No money is being made and no infringement is intended.

Thanks to ridesandruns for the inspiration!

Notes: This story was written as part of the Summer(s) Fling challenge, at:
http://community.livejournal.com/summers_fling/profile Authors who have
posted so far: glastea, harmonyangel, lilacsigil, minisinoo, nagi_schwarz,
resolute, ridesandruns, roguewords, sionnain, st_aurafina, stubbleglitter,
tanya_ltp, xenokattz, zoe_chan

__________________________________________________________
Watch free concerts with Pink, Rod Stewart, Oasis and more. Visit MSN
Presents today.
http://music.msn.com/presents?icid=ncmsnpresentstagline&ocid=T002MSN03A07001


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi everybody,

I wanted to let you know that Deep_Salt_Water's author interview is
now up at the Wolverine and Rogue Fanfiction Archive
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/categories.php?catid=9) for your
reading pleasure. So, swing by, take a look and enjoy!

Diane

Lola
by ridesandruns
Rating: T for profanity
Characters: Jean, Warren, Scott, Darwin the Beagle
Summary: Jean sizes up a new rival.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3513488/1/

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 11: "Two Small Rooms, Part I"

Author: Talktooloose

'Verse: X-Men movieverse

Warnings: Sexual situations, swearing, casual drug use, tragic
misunderstandings, calling teachers by their first names

Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.

Chapter Summary: Bobby's not sure whether to be jealous of Kitty and
Lance until he's invited to share an experience with them which
changes everything. St. John thinks he's found a home, but you can't
be too careful.

Betas: lux_apollo and <http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/>mofic with
additional comments by
<http://www.kuria.onomatopoetry.com/>kuriadalmatia. Thanks as always.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.

The Chapter can be found at:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter11.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

That's Entertainment
Rating: T for profanity
Characters: Logan, Scott, Darwin the Beagle, Lola the Siamese cat
Summary: Everyone defines fun differently.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3559562/1/

Enjoy!

June's interview will be with UKTara, author of such stories as "The
First Move," "Parting Gifts," and "In the Face of Tragedy" among
others. You can read her stories at the new WRFA site
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/index.php). People can suggest
questions through June 18th. Send them to me at the address below.

Thanks for your interest and enjoy the new movie!

Diane
deh@...

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 12: "Two Small Rooms, Part II"

Author: Talktooloose

'Verse: X-Men movieverse

Warnings: Sexual situations, swearing, staying up too late

Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.

Chapter Summary: Bobby continues to follow Lance through the dark
woods of sexuality; John is inspired and terrified; Lance and John
lose control.

Betas: <http://lux_apollo.livejournal.com>lux_apollo and
<http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/>mofic. Thank you for making me a
better writer.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.

The Chapter can be found at:
<http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter11.html>http://toothdemon.net/ttl/f\
anfic/dob/chapter12.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
<http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob>http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sorry my first post in years has to bear bad news, but I've had a run-in
with a person who is plagiarizing movieverse stories, including fics
from xmmff.com.

Her ff.net profile is here:  http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1277121/
<http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1277121/>

Her absoute chaos profile here:
http://www.absolutechaos.net/viewuser.php?uid=1271
<http://www.absolutechaos.net/viewuser.php?uid=1271>

I recognize at least two stories by Troll Princess
<http://www.xmmff.com/stories/viewuser.php?uid=2>  which she has copied
("All Foam, No Beer" and "Boy Cooties") and I first met her when she
contacted me two days ago and tried to claim that she had written my old
xmmff story, "Last Man Standing
<http://www.xmmff.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=267>  " a month ago.

Since I wrote that fic back in 2000, I challenged her, and she admitted
that she had posted it under her own name, but agreed to delete it.  She
has done that, but I've noticed several other stories in her profiles
that seem familiar (and too well-written to be her work), so I wanted
the Movieverse authors to know and hope you'll be able to help figure
out who the real authors of these fics are.

She has also posted copies of Troll Princess's stories on her Quizilla
page.  If anyone wants to read copies of the emails and Instant Messages
she sent me, I have saved everything.

Apologies for the ugly topic,

Jocelyn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I didn't see it listed so I forwarded Jocelyn's message about
plagerism to Wonderful World of Make Believe (WWOMB) aka "Make
Believe" to get the word out.

Hi everybody,

I wanted to let you know that UKTara's author interview is now up at
the Wolverine and Rogue Fanfiction Archive
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/viewstory.php?sid=1746) for your
reading pleasure. So, swing by, take a look and enjoy!

Diane

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 13: "Raccoon Eyes"

Author: Talktooloose

'Verse: X-Men movieverse

Warnings: Sexual situations, swearing, snowcones

Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.

Chapter Summary: Bobby and Kitty deal with their feelings in the wake
of Lance's departure. Mike is fed up with Jubilee's new friend. What
is Christian Turcott really up to?

Betas: <http://www.kuria.onomatopoetry.com/>kuriadalmatia and
<http://lux-apollo.livejournal.com/>lux_apollo whose insightful
suggestions have made this a better chapter and me a better writer.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.

The chapter can be found at:

http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter13.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

August's interview will be with Skybluerae, author of such stories
as "Learning to Fly," "Given," "Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz," and the "Out
to Get Me" series among others. You can read her stories at the new
WRFA site (http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/index.php). People
can suggest questions through August 11th. Send them to me at the
address below.

Thanks for your interest and enjoy the new movie!

Diane
deh@...

Hi everybody,

I wanted to let you know that Skybluerae's author interview is now up at
the Wolverine and Rogue Fanfiction Archive
(http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/viewstory.php?sid=1849) for your
reading pleasure. So, swing by, take a look and enjoy!

Diane

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 14: "The Yellow and the Black, Part 1"

Author: Talktooloose

'Verse: X-Men movieverse

Warnings: Swearing, crudeness, smarminess

Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and
Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal
with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni
Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make
our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters and OC's
play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues
through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of
that movie.

Chapter Summary: Happy Halloween! Bobby and Kitty are trick or
treating in the wrong way while they part at the Mansion takes a
surprising turn. Meanwhile in Boston, Mike learns that there is more
to Jubilee's friends than meets the eye.

Betas: <http://mo.fandomnation.com/fic/>Mofic and
<http://lux_apollo.livejournal.com>Lux_Apollo. Thank you for your
precision and commitment.

Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own this stuff but they need us
to make sense of it.

Notes: Dazzler's musical stylings by Lux. Special thanks to Pete
Chvany for information on where it's happening in Boston! I hope I
didn't mess it up.

The chapter can be found at:
http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob/chapter14.html

For earlier chapters, visit the DOB homepage:
<http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob>http://toothdemon.net/ttl/fanfic/dob

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

October's interview will be with September, author of such stories
as "Through Touch," "Two Weeks," "Swashbuckle...and Leather Slippers,"
and the "Therapy" series among others. You can read her stories at the
WRFA site (http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/index.php). People
can suggest questions through October 12th. Send them to me at the
address below.

Thanks for your interest and enjoy the new movie!

Diane
deh@...