AN: Since I'm going on vacation for a couple of days, I'll be slow in
replying to feedback.



TITLE: "I'm Still Loving You"
AUTHOR: Vid
PAIRING: Harm/Meg, Harm/Mac UST
CATEGORY: fluff, romance
DISCLAIMER: JAG belongs to Bellisario Productions, DPB and CBS
TIMELINE: Season 5, starts 2 months after Harm returned to JAG from
flying.
FEEDBACK: unless it's flames, will be very gratefully accepted.


WARNINGS: !!!!THIS FIC IS NOT FOR HARM/MAC SHIPPERS, NOR FOR MAC FANS!!!!!
If you read the warning, ignore it, read the fic anyway and then even
complain or flame, you will be labeled as the village idiot.

Season 5 was a bad time for Harm and his fans because of how he was
treated by his best friend for daring to go back to what he was born
to do. This fic contains Mac bashing, but since it's following canon
on her actions and that TPTB themselves actually bashed her with how
she treated Harm, it's not inappropriate...

Also there is some language that is not appropriate for younger readers.


AN: I'm going back to my roots wih this fic. As some still active JAG
fans I've started out with being a Harm/Meg shipper and never stopped
being one, just lost hope of us ever getting Meg back, her and Harm
together and all that sizzling chemistry and deep connection that they
had back on the screen.

Dedicated to all fellow Harm/Meg shippers who are still out there and
still reading fiction. Also dedicated to Tracey Needham who brought
the wondeful character Meg to life and did such an amazing job at it.
Semper Meg!



SUMMARY: when a man is forced to move on for his own good, it doesn't
mean his life is over. Maybe it's just beginning...


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Harm was feeling like shit.

It's been 2 months since he returned to JAG from his stint at flying
because he was once again forced to abandon the job he was born for.

Instead of blood he had jet fuel and ice water in his veins. Instead
of normal vision he had HUDs and a targetting retticle.

He had flying in his genes. And the woman he only recently called his
best friend tried to prove to him every day that she resented him for it.

After 2 months of having her new-found closeness to that smug bastard
Gumby constantly rubbed in his face and regretting ever having
returned to JAG, Harm gave up. The fact that Mac liked to pull her new
rank on him over everything also didn't sit right with him. They were
friends once and he never pulled rank on her when he was the senior
officer, but she was doing it now constantly.

He wasn't going to fight to regain his friendship with Mac anymore.

If she wanted to be his friend again, then she will have to make the
effort from now on.

With that new determination in mind he looked at his watch, noticed it
was already quitting time, cleaned his desk and left for home.

----------------------
----------------------

2 MONTHS LATER
JAG HQ
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1250 ZULU

Full Commander Harmon Rabb came whistling into his office, 10 minutes
early as was his normal standard for the past few months and with a
decidedly cheery disposition.

He greeted his co-workers friendly, he even sent a friendly smile
towards Mac, who was puzzled over the change in her former partner's
mood for the past few months.

Her plan wasn't working. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her
when he went back to flying to pay him back, even though Harriet tried
to make her understand that that way of thinking was really selfish.
Harriet tried to tell her that she was in the military and people get
reassigned to other posts all the time, so she shouldn't have expected
to remain partners with Harm for the rest of their lives. Mac didn't
listen to her and went on with her plan. Then she included even Brumby
in it. She actually couldn't stand the smarmy jerk, but she wanted to
make Harm jealous, because she knew how much Harm had always hated Brumby.

Boy, did those two plans backfire on her!

All she did was alienate the man who was the best friend to her and
get stuck with a Aussie playboy who thought he was the God's gift to
women. He was actually extremely annoying and wouldn't take no for an
answer. She also couldn't press legal actions or report him because
everyone could testify that she encouraged him and definitely didn't
reject him. She was in deep and it was all her own fault. Why could
she never learn?

----

Harm was feeling extremely good, better than he had in 3 years!

He reflected back on the past two months. Since he had decided to move
on his life was much nicer to live.

Just two days after he made the decision he experienced something that
changed his life. For good. And he knew he would never regret his
decision, as hasty as it may seem to some people.

He wanted to share his happiness with everyone he knew, but on the
other hand he wanted to keep it to himself, like a precious secret
that no-one but him and few select others outside his job knew about.

He booted up his computer and got to work, eager to get done with his
paperwork so he could go home on time.

----------------------
----------------------

A MONTH LATER
JAG HQ
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1705 ZULU


A tall, blonde, female Navy Lieutenant in her dress blues entered the
JAG bullpen, looking around with the air of a first-time visitor.

Mac, who was the closest to the newcomer, approached the young woman.

"Do you have an appointment, Lt.?" she asked.

The Lt. quickly looked at Mac's rank insignia and stood at attention.
"At ease" said Mac.

"No, Ma'am, I'm here to pick up Commander Rabb."

"Pick him up?" asked Mac who was now scowling.

"Yes, Ma'am, we have a lunch date." she was receiving the hostile
vibes Mac was sending out quite clearly.

Mac looked at the younger woman's tags and noticed the name 'Rabb'
standing there. This mystery was getting stranger by the minute.

"Are you the Commander's relative, Lt. Rabb?" wanted Mac to know.

"Yes, Ma'am." was all that the young Lt. offered.

Looking at the Lt.'s sleeves she noticed the JAG insignia there. The
woman was a lawyer and seemingly quite experienced and competent at
that. She didn't offer any more nor any less than what was needed, nor
did she even so much as flinch under Mac's interrogation.

"What kind of a relative?" persisted Mac. Harm had never mentioned any
other relatives aside from his immediate family and his Grandmother
Sarah. Mac didn't have a clue who this woman was and that bothered
her. She wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Has the Commander ever mentioned me, Ma'am?" answered the Lt. with a
question.

"I asked the question first. You WILL answer." Mac was getting angry.
This newcomer was quite tight-lipped and very uncooperative.

"Am I under arrest for something, Lt. Colonel? Because otherwise you
can't order me nor force me to answer such personal questions. I'm a
lawyer myself and I know my rights. And if the Commander has never
mentioned me, then I am not in the liberty to specify." even though it
was said politely it was clear to all, who were watching the
confrontation, that the young Lt. was getting angry herself.

By now all work had stopped as everyone was watching the battle of the
wills. The silence brought the Admiral out of his office and he
immediately recognized the visitor.

"Lieutenant!" he boomed with a pleased smile, making Mac frown even
harder. "Congratulations on your promotion! Haven't seen you here in
quite a few years. How's your job as liaison at the NCIS working out
after the years of top secret stuff?"

"Thank you, sir. Yes, it's been a while, sir. I love my work, but I'm
missing the old days of action and courtroom. Not to forget all those
Tomcat flights to our investigations that you managed to arrange for
us sometimes. I can't tell you how much I loved those. Harm is the
best pilot I have ever known and I thoroughly enjoyed flying in a
Tomcat." the young woman beamed at the memories of those times. Mac
was still scowling, but was momentarily overcome by sickness at the
mere thought of flying.

Cheggwidden noticed the frown that marred Mac's face and the lusty,
leering expression of Lt. Cmdr. Brumby who was watching the young
woman. Cheggwidden shook his head. **That man is like a dog with
bones, but to him women were the bones. He goes after every pretty
woman that comes into his sights. But he would have no luck with this
one. Harm would sooner send the smarmy Australian in the hospital than
let him anywhere near this woman. He was very protective of her, not
that she ever needed his protection.**

Cheggwidden barely managed to keep in a laugh when the Lt. noticed the
looks Brumby was giving her and sent him a look filled with disgust
and revulsion. **Amazing how similar she and Rabb are. They even hate
the same guy on the spot.**

Suddenly Cheggwidden's eyes were drawn to the name tag on the young
woman's uniform and a puzzled frown, followed by a realization began
to spread across his face.

Just as he was about to ask, the cause of all the commotion entered
the bullpen.

Harm stopped at the sight of the slim figure of a fellow Rabb and his
face broke out in a joyous smile, which made Mac to scowl even darker
"Meg!"

**Meg Rabb? Harm never mentioned her. What the hell is she to him?**

"So, you're here to...." Cheggwidden trailed off letting Meg explain.

"To kidnap my husband, sir." said Meg straight-faced.

Mac's jaw dropped and rage filled her.

Everyone went quiet at Meg's statement and watched in silence as Harm
came up to her, kissed her quickly, but with passion and love very
obvious in the kiss.

No one could believe that the Commander got married and no one knew
about it. Brumby slinked away, sulking. He would've liked to make this
beautiful young woman a notch in his bedpost, but it was extremely
obvious that Harm would sooner kill him than let that happen. It was
also obvious that Rabb had no intention of letting this woman go for
the rest of his life.

The Admiral roared with laughter at that. "Damn. Why couldn't you have
married while you were still partners? Now I've lost 100 bucks to
Senator Marion."

Both Harm and Meg were staring at the Admiral in disbelief "You bet on
us, sir?"

The Admiral sobered "Of course, it was easy money, or so I thought.
You two always had enough chemistry to power the whole world for 200
years. I was sure you would get married while you were still partners,
but then you, Meg, got reassigned so quickly and I lost hope for you
two. I am happy that you've made it despite all obstacles, you two
definitely deserve it."

Harm and Meg were stunned at the Admiral's words and their meaning. He
actually wanted them to get together while they were still in the same
chain of command.

"When did you meet up again, anyway? And when did you get married?
Cause I definitely know that you, Rabb, didn't take any time off for a
honeymoon." the Admiral pierced Harm with a stare.

Meg decided to intervene "We got married last Saturday, sir and we
wanted to wait with the honeymoon, because you are buried under cases."

The Admiral waved a dismissive hand "No problem, we'll manage. You
will only get married this one time." Harm and Meg were surprised at
the Admiral's belief in the success of their marriage. "You've got 1
month off starting now, Harm. Take your wife to some beautiful, warm,
tropical island paradise."

"Thank you, sir. I think I can arrange it." They have completely
forgotten that there were also other people listening in. Perhaps it
was better this way as it would cut down the rumors and speculation.

"So, when did you meet up again? Because I know you were reassigned
back to JAG and DC only 3 months ago, Lt."

Meg glanced at Harm, who looked into her eyes and they seemed to have
a discussion, which ended in some kind of agreement.

"We met again 3 months ago, sir. I was just transferred back to DC,
still living in the BOQ and looking for an aparment. I met Harm at the
Wall when I was visiting my father." This little fact was just another
revelation to Mac that Harm and Meg seemed to have a lot in common and
that they obviously had known each other for a lot of years and were
even expected by the Admiral to get married at some point.

Harm took up the story. "I was talking to my father, cause I've just
made a big decision concerning something important. Then I turned
around and there she was. Like it was some kind of sign. I walked up
to her, she recognized me, we decided to go somewhere to talk and that
was it."

Harm let out the details of him seeing Meg and of her recognizing him.
When he noticed her he ran like a lunatic to catch up to her. And when
she saw him she did something inappropriate for two people in
uniforms. She grabbed him in a hug and they didn't let each other go
for good 10 minutes.

Meg continued the narration while Harm was caught in the memories. "We
went to Harm's apartment, talked and some long-thought dead feelings
came to light again. Both of us realized that these feelings were the
thing neither of us could move on from and that we still belonged to
each other. Harm said I could move in with him since I still didn't
have my own apartment, it felt so right and natural that I just
accepted and we've been together since. The decision to get married
was so natural, easy and right, that we didn't hesitate. Neither of us
is religious so we didn't need to wait for an opening at a church and
a priest. We got married last Saturday at Grandma Sarah's farm with
only our families present. And since you have a big case load at the
moment we decided to wait for a better time with our honeymoon."

Cheggwidden was fascinated with the tale. It confirmed once again what
he always knew. These two were meant to be. They've found each other
at the exact moment when both were ready for more. He didn't mind
losing that money. It made him long for what he had with his ex-wife
and he decided he would try and smooth things up again with her.

"As I said, Lieutenant Rabb, nonsense. We can manage without your
husband." no one noticed Mac's disdainful snort at the word husband.
"You have a month off and you should take that honeymoon. You too,
Lt., I'll call your boss and arrange it. After all, you are still a
JAG officer and thus under my command."

"Thank you sir." chorused both.

"Good, that's settled then." concluded the Admiral. "Now, Commander,
you quickly gather your files, give them to Tiner who will disperse
them, secure your office and you can start your down-time immediately."

Harm did just that. While he was doing this Meg was sitting in the
chair meant for clients and visitors, just observing him. She hasn't
seen him in an office environment for a long time and she remembered
the times they've spent together in their office with a fond smile.
Those were good days, but the years they have before them will be much
better.

----------------------

Outside in the bullpen work has been resumed. People were discussing
the recent revelations, but because Harm and Meg didn't hide anything
there wasn't any cause for speculation. The Admiral went back to his
lair and Mac just stood there, rooted to the spot.

She couldn't believe it! Harm married? And it was her little plan that
was the cause of it. She recognized immediately what Harm meant by 'a
big decision concerning something important'. The timing was right. It
was when he stopped trying to rebuild their friendship and waited for
her to do something. But she, in all her wisdom, decided to make him
sweat some more. And because of the way she treated him he was in the
exact mindset and feelings that he could move on and leave her behind.
At the right time and in the right place for him to meet Meg again.
And it was all her own fault!

Right at that moment Harm and Meg came out of his office, laughing,
Harm carrying his files to Tiner while Meg locked the office.

The whole staff watched, including the Admiral, as the two lovebirds
met in the middle, took hold of each other's hands and left among
farewells.

At the double swinging door they met Bud, who greeted them, but then
turned around and stared at the closed doors with bulging eyes and
gaping mouth.

Slowly he turned around and approached Mac.

"Was that Commander Rabb and Lt. Austin, Ma'am?" he asked her, still
in shock.

"It was Harm, yes, as for the Lt.'s name I'm not sure. She is
Lieutenant Meg Rabb now if it says anything to you." she wanted to
know from Bud who the woman was and what were the chances of them
getting divorced in the future.

"Rabb? They got married!? I can't believe it! It took them long enough."

"What do you mean and who was she to Harm?" wanted Mac to know.

"She was his partner before you, ma'am. I was on the Seahawk when they
where there a couple of times on investigations. The first time they
came there together a pool was set up as to when they would be getting
married, when they would be having kids, the gender of the kids,...
you know, that sort of thing."

Mac was stunned at that revelation. The fact that the gambling pool
wasn't about the topics it was normally about, like first having sex,
getting together, breaking up, but about serious topics was something
new to her.

"They were that serious?"

"No, ma'am, they never broke the regs, but everyone and I mean
everyone, who met them on investigations knew that it could never be
just an affair between them. When they would get together, it would be
for life and it would include the whole cliche. And it looks like we
were right. We just didn't know it would take them over 4 years. Did
you notice, Colonel, that when you, me and Commander Rabb visited
places in our investigations together where he and Lt. Aus... Rabb
were before together, that people, usually senior officers, pulled the
Commander away for a while?"

Mac had always wanted to know what that was all about. "Yes, what was
that about? He never explained when I asked him."

Bud decided to explain since the cat was out of the bag. "The first
question they asked him was how he was. The second was if he and Lt.
Austin.... er, now Lt. Rabb got married already and if they had any
kids. I've overheard a few of these talks. It was always the same."

Mac couldn't believe what she was hearing, this was grave news. "So,
what you're telling me is that EVERYONE, from Senators to Seamen,
expected them to get married even though they had known each other for
less than a year?"

Bud looked at her seriously "Yes, ma'am, that's what I'm saying. We
have all noticed how they behaved, how they constantly subconsciously
searched out each other's presence, their completely non-verbal
communication, how they finished each other's sentences, how in tune
they were with each other,... It was like they were sharing one soul
and one mind. And definitely one heart, even if they didn't realize
it. It was spooky." Bud grinned at that, only he getting the inside
X-Files joke. When he realized Mac didn't get it, he continued "There
was even a rumor that they were a couple before they were partners and
some even believed they were already married. But then Lt. Schonke's
death happened and Harm's imprisonment."

Mac looked surprised at that "Harm was in prison for her murder?"

Bud looked grim "Yeah, he was framed. While the Cmdr. was in prison,
the Lt. kept visiting him. Someone higher up tried to get rid of the
Dream Team, thus the Cmdr. was framed and the Lt. was transferred out
of the country with no chance of objection. Rumor has it she was just
visiting the Cmdr. when some officers came to her, they tracked her
down to the prison, gave her her transfer orders and actually dragged
her by the arms out of there. She didn't even get the time to pack,
people were sent to pack her apartment up for her. And so she
disappeared for these past 3 years. No one knew what happened to her,
where she was. By then I was already here. I've heard that once he got
out the Cmdr. was enraged. He used every connection he had to find out
where she was sent to, until he got a visit from some guys in black
who warned him that if he didn't want to be 'taken care of' he should
cease his search for his partner. He didn't stop until he was almost
shot by some unknown sniper. Perhaps the two became too good and got
too close to someone important. Many of their cases had to do with
corruption, espionage, treason and such. And now they are apparently
together again and meant to stay that way."

Mac didn't know what to say after hearing this story. She knew from
her observation of the happy couple that there was something more
there, but she couldn't even guess it went so deep. She didn't want to
know, but she had to ask.

"So, you think that there is no way for them to ever break up, now
that they are together?"

Bud looked her in the eyes and after a moment replied with complete
conviction. "Ma'am there is more of a chance of the universe ending in
a Big Bang in the next five minutes than of them to ever stop loving
each other and break up."

And with that Mac knew that she lost forever.


END