Okay, I don't have time, but it's better than working.

Here's my not-so-brief summer movie review list thingy:

X-MEN 3 - 6.5/10. I honestly don't remember much about it. I do
remember thinking it was solid enough to fit into the existing X-Men
movie library just fine. I don't think it was better than Singer's
first two, but I don't think it was worse either. I will say that it
didn't really leave me hungry for another X-Men installment. I could
take it or leave it.

DA VINCI CODE - 5/10. Thought it pretty much sucked. Ron Howard
is ... vanilla. That's the most appropriate word I can think of. The
movie wasn't *bad*, per say, but it just wasn't very good. Mostly, I
found it boring. So much of the running around felt pointless, the
French chick was beautiful but hard to understand and Hanks, if
anything, seemed like he was there in name only. For a book so
supposedly controversial, the film was… well, vanilla.

OVER THE HEDGE - 9/10. Loved it. I loved Carell's squirrel, Nolte's
bear and Shatner's overacting possum. Thought the story, from setup
to completion, was solid all the way around. The ending with the
squirrel and the caffeine was HI-larious.

MI:III - 8/10. I went in to this with very low expectations, but I
think Abbrams did something pretty remarkable here. Pretty much kept
me on the edge of my seat the whole time. It's unfortunate the film
didn't make more money, I thought it was the best of the franchise.
The beginning scene was top-notch and, thankfully, didn't feel like a
cheat.

THE BREAK-UP - 6/10. Was funny for a while. Then wasn't. I didn't
like the tacked on ending, which had Vince Vaughn trying to look so
exaggeratingly happy that he appeared psycho. Thought it was uneven
and I just generally stopped enjoying myself about halfway through.
Aniston was surprisingly good, though.

CLICK – 6.5/10. I dunno. It's a Sandler movie. It got the job
done. Extra half-star for Walken. Creative premise that, to me, felt
dumbed-down into a one-dimensional MISTER DESTINY clone. Kate
Beckinsale was (Oh-My-God) HOT, to the point that it was impossible to
believe she'd really be married to that schlub. Who on God's green
earth would fast-forward through sex with her?

CARS - 8/10. Solid. Not Pixar's best, but even Pixar's worst are
better than most. The story was too much like DOC HOLLYWOOD for my
taste, and it seemed to be missing a little of that extra "something"
that Pixar films have. Still, easily worth the price of admission and
then some. I'd like Pixar to start expanding a little - making films
that aren't just based on generic "cars," "bugs," "toys"
and "monsters." THE INCREDIBLES was a step in the right direction.

SUPERMAN RETURNS - 6/10. I just really wasn't that impressed. At
all. Don't know how else to say it. I mean, visually the film was
astounding, but I thought the story was just totally and unequivocally
meh. And I thought it smacked with lazy, lazy writing. The plane
sequence was awesome (let's see Spider-Man do THAT), but then they
just hose all over it by having Superman regurgitate that "flying is
still the safest way to travel" line. C'mon. After 5 years Supes
should have some new material. We've seen the dance over Manhattan,
we didn't need a rehash. Lex obtaining the Kryptonite from a museum
has also already been done (and that scene was a major missed
opportunity to let Lex shine).

***minor spoilers***

To me, Kevin Spacey played Kevin Spacey, not Lex Luthor. I thought
Supes in the hospital was L to the A-M-E. Supes leaving his crystals
out was D to the U-M-B. And Lex's gal-pal having a last minute change
of conscience and saving the day has been D to the O-N-E. I didn't
buy the kid and the ending was shockingly anti-climactic. Ultimately,
Supes didn't rescue anyone but himself. If you think about it, thank
God Parker Posey was there to save everybody.

***end spoilers***

I still like Singer's core idea of starting the film from where
Superman II left off, but he relied too darn much on it. Hopefully
Singer can do more in a later installment.

PIRATES II – 8/10. Entertaining, fun. Too long and too convoluted.
Johnny Depp wasn't given enough really good stuff to do, which forced
him to have to constantly mug and roll his eyes at everything. The
film was lacking more of the really fantastic moments the first one
had in spades. And it was a little too self-referential for my taste
(did they really have to bring back EVERYONE, including the dog?) The
dead pirates were interesting, but they got grating after a while.
Davy Jones was GREAT, it's unfortunate we couldn't see more of the
actor's face. The ending sequence with everyone chasing each other
was basically retarded. But in spite of all that, I had a blast.

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND – 6/10. I'm totally biased on this one. Last
year I read a script similar in idea to SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND and it
trounced all over this movie. Rietman sticks with his old tricks, no
real surprises here, maybe worth a rent if you like Uma Thurman.

MONSTER HOUSE – 9/10. I enjoyed the hell out of this. A fun,
frightening roller coaster ride. After seeing the previews, I
wondered how much you could do with a house that was a monster, but
they really made an entertaining family movie that builds to fantastic
final sequence. I'm not a fan of the motion-capture (looks weird), I
could've done without Jon Heder's voice (that guy needs a new bag) and
it was a little too scary at the beginning (my 6 year-old daughter was
terrified). But it was grrrrreat.

UNITED 93 – 9.5/10. Fantastic. Takes a difficult, sensitive subject
and presents it in a frank, unabashed way that is surprisingly
affecting without forcing sentiment. Even the conspiracy theorists
can't deny this is an excellent movie. I think the director makes all
the right choices. I really doubt Stone's WORLD TRADE CENTER will be
anywhere near as good.

That's pretty much it. I wanna see THE DESCENT, THE FOUNTAIN, MIAMI
VICE and the supposed train wreck that is LADY IN THE WATER.

Johnny