CRUCIFY 'UM!!! CRUCIFY 'UM!!! : from Murder By Collage With Found Objects


Murder By Collage
With Found Objects

A Q-bist Ficto-Reala by Gene Elder







PANEL #23
CRUCIFY 'UM!!!
CRUCIFY 'UM!!!

Someone has to fly the flag of finesse.
---Hyacinth Bucket


"Hello! This is Gene."
"Gene! Don! You're there!"
"Hi, Don."
"What are you doing?"
"Welllllllll, I'mmmmmmm. Well, what am I doing? ...Do
you mean what am I doing as a long term plan or right now?"
"Right now."
"Right now, I'm eating smoked turkey, listening to
Rachmaninoff and writing my Christmas press release."
"Gene, what's your press release?"
"It's called 'Crucify 'um! Crucify 'um!' You want to hear it?"
"Sure."
"OK. This is the press release."

PRESS RELEASE:
Gene Elder, Texas artist and notorious gay activist responded early
Saturday morning to the press that had gathered in front of the Alamo. He
announced that he was in favor of crucifying extremist 'christian'
fundamentalists. His response came after hearing an Orange County, California
'christian' radio talk show host say: "Homosexuals should be punishable by
death." Rick Agozino, host of "Crosstalk" on radio station KBRT-AM (740) in
Costa Mesa, California urged callers to write to their state legislators asking
them to enact laws that would punish homosexuality according to Biblical
law---meaning capital punishment, according to his latest transcript.

"You know how that lesbian love is," responded Elder, "Once you get it on
you, you can't get it off."

"Lesbian love---sodomy---are viewed by God as being detestable and
abominable. Civil magistrates are to put people to death who practice these
things. It is an abomination unto God," Agozino proclaimed.

Elder responded with a simple but firm "Fine!" then added, "I think that
'christian' extremists should practice what they preach, and since these
'christians' want to be closer to God, they need to experience the glorious,
transforming act of crucifixion, so they too can benefit from the complete
Christian experience. Christ said, 'Follow me' and I think they should live
their lives the way Christ did and in order to know God's love fully, they need
to experience the transforming joy of the Immaculate Crucifixion. In Jesus'
time, anybody who was anybody did it. It was very, very popular.
Besides, it would be such an inspiration to see rows and rows of crucified
'christians,' following in Jesus' example, up and down Interstate 35 between San
Antonio and Dallas. Just like in the good ol' days," Elder said. "Then during
the Christmas Holidays, we could string those cute little twinkly lights all
along them, so that when Jesus returns he'll know just where to land."
--30--

"Well? What do you think?"
"Great! I love it! Did you meet the press at the Alamo?"
"Of course not."
"Who do you send it to?"
"Oh, whoever ...art magazines, Artnews, Art in America, and fundamentalist
preachers. I stick them in any postage paid envelopes that come in the mail."
"Send me one for my file."
"Okay."


"Oh! Don! That reminds me. I made up a light bulb joke."
"What?"
"How many San Antonio artists does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know. How many?"
"One. ...But, we can't remember if we paid the utility bill and we can't decide
which color to use."


Gentlemen, we give you a Republic; now try and keep it.
--Benjamin Franklin



Elde__________________________r
Art, like the Alamo, has to draw the line somewhere.
click on the Alamo
http://users2.ev1.net/~kaden/Pages/DJI_Alamo.htm

elder4tomato@...















Don't trust any government or religion that doesn't support more art than
submission.
-----Gene Elder






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