celluloidsuicide : Messages : 55-84 of 85

#80 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Tue Sep 6, 2005 4:10 pm
Subject: Re: Bail Out aj00f
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Sounds great, I hope you have thanked the 'friend' in the appropriate
manner, with a car crusher disguised as a car wash....

I will make sure I order a copy, although Rudi may kill be as I think
we already have over 30 shit films to watch :eek:

As I live in Bournemouth now and Ruud cant drive we inevitably dont
get as much time to watch shit films. Still Bobby has his driving test
  next week and can courier Rudi over for so we can do catch up.

Unfortunately whenever I go to Ruud's house to watch films I have a
hard time staying awake, fuck knows why, sofa too comfy or something I
guess. Time to invest in a bed of nails I think.... ...atleast we can
deal with the 'friend' properly then :-D

Ant.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, Rangi Robinson
<rangi.robinson@f...> wrote:
> Have you guys had the pleasure of reviewing Bail Out yet? I got this
dvd
> as a gift from a "friend" last Thursday and have had it running in the
> office on loop ever since. It's a classic tale of a money hungry
> bailbondsman (the hoff) who seems to spend most of the film playing
> tennis and talking on a massive 80s mobile phone.
>
> Bail Out

#79 From: Rangi Robinson <rangi.robinson@...>
Date: Mon Sep 5, 2005 9:17 am
Subject: Bail Out rangi_robinson
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Have you guys had the pleasure of reviewing Bail Out yet? I got this dvd as a gift from a "friend" last Thursday and have had it running in the office on loop ever since. It's a classic tale of a money hungry bailbondsman (the hoff) who seems to spend most of the film playing tennis and talking on a massive 80s mobile phone.

#78 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:54 am
Subject: Re: Church of the 3DO exhibit - Croydon 13th August aj00f
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Just a reminder to say we will be at this exhiition tomorrow!

Ant.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "aj00f" <idiots@c...> wrote:
> For all those interested, we (Rudi and I) are having an exhibit at the
> Classic gaming expo, Saturday August 13th 2005, 10:00am - 7:00pm at
> Fairfield halls in Croydon, Surrey. The Church of 3DO is a subsection
> of  the Celluloidsuicide project and it is dedicated to shit games
> (namely shit 3DO games) these are in many cases funnier than shit
> films. We will be exhibiting from 10:00am to approx 4:30am if any of
> you want to come along and join in the tom foolery and more
> importantly laughing at the sad freaks that still listen to Commodore
> 64 music (obviously we take the piss with stealth :D)
>
> Anyway this is the church of 3DO Charter as written by Rudi:
>
> "In these troubled times it seems that, wherever you look there are
> religious fanatics. And let's be honest the things these fanatics get
> worked up about aren't really that important. Whereas an appalling
> Games Console, now that really is something to believe in. We hold
> meetings most Sundays, which are known as 3DO Memorial Sundays. At
> these solemn gatherings the congregation play as many 3DO games as
> they can stand and lament the passing of the 3DO and its stillborn
> successor, the M2. We feel that we must go forth and preach the word
> of 3DO as it does not seem fair that we must suffer alone."
>
> The churches slogan: "Pray for 3DO, Pray for our sanity"
>
> Ant.

#77 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Wed Aug 3, 2005 9:55 pm
Subject: Terror Babies and Terror Dragons aj00f
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Look guys just look out for them and be careful.

Ant.

#76 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:01 am
Subject: Church of the 3DO exhibit - Croydon 13th August aj00f
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For all those interested, we (Rudi and I) are having an exhibit at the
Classic gaming expo, Saturday August 13th 2005, 10:00am - 7:00pm at
Fairfield halls in Croydon, Surrey. The Church of 3DO is a subsection
of  the Celluloidsuicide project and it is dedicated to shit games
(namely shit 3DO games) these are in many cases funnier than shit
films. We will be exhibiting from 10:00am to approx 4:30am if any of
you want to come along and join in the tom foolery and more
importantly laughing at the sad freaks that still listen to Commodore
64 music (obviously we take the piss with stealth :D)

Anyway this is the church of 3DO Charter as written by Rudi:

"In these troubled times it seems that, wherever you look there are
religious fanatics. And let's be honest the things these fanatics get
worked up about aren't really that important. Whereas an appalling
Games Console, now that really is something to believe in. We hold
meetings most Sundays, which are known as 3DO Memorial Sundays. At
these solemn gatherings the congregation play as many 3DO games as
they can stand and lament the passing of the 3DO and its stillborn
successor, the M2. We feel that we must go forth and preach the word
of 3DO as it does not seem fair that we must suffer alone."

The churches slogan: "Pray for 3DO, Pray for our sanity"

Ant.

#75 From: "Laura" <ruud@...>
Date: Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:23 pm
Subject: FAO Ant: ChurchOf3DO bigfatkipper
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Hi,

The following is 110 words:

Church of 3DO

In these troubled times it seems that, wherever you look there are religious
fanatics.  And let's be honest the things these fanatics get worked up about
aren't really that important.  Whereas an appalling Games Console, now that
really is something to believe in.  We hold meetings most Sundays, which are
known as 3DO Memorial Sundays.  At these solemn gatherings the congregation
play as many 3DO games as they can stand and lament the passing of the 3DO
and its stillborn successor, the M2.
   We feel that we must go forth and preach the word of 3DO as it does not
seem fair that we must suffer alone.


I hope they don't mind it running over or that it's totally riduculous!  I
am slightly worried that they might not think we're serious about exhibiting
so it might be an idea to put some info in the email about the machines and
games and stuff we'll be bringing along.

Cheers,
Dave Zodak

#74 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:07 am
Subject: Re: Operation Delta Force aj00f
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Indeed however we can BLOW UP your mind if you want to come and join
us for a shit film marathon. I cant say I am looking forward to
watching the delta force turds.

Ant.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "Rudi" <ruud@b...> wrote:
> Hi Rangi,
> Thanks for the offer of the Operation Delta Force Films.  We have
got 1-3
> but it would be good to see number 4 because life has been good
lately and
> our supplies of prozac are going to waste (they do have a use by
date after
> all).
>   On a more serious note I'm glad to hear that you managed to avoid
getting
> blown up last week.  What times we live in hey?
>
> Cheers,
> Rudi.

#73 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:05 am
Subject: Re: Musketeers Forever aj00f
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lol especially at all the Robophobia problems you seem to behaving,
still perhaps we can actually have that in the review for the website?
Sounds like I missed some classic drivel, might have to borrow that
from you sometime :-O

Ant.



--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "Rudi" <ruud@b...> wrote:
> Hi,
> Well what can I say?  I watched Musketeers Forever.  Laura went out
and I
> was at a bit of a loose end.  I was going to play some San Andreas
on PS2
> but I suddenly suffered a particularly bad attack of the old robophobia.
> Once I'd crawled out from under the table and apologised to the
neighbours
> for screaming so much, I had a quick look for something to watch
instead.
> "Musketeers Forever, that looks fun" I said to myself whilst mopping the
> dribble from my chin.  I almost lost it when I went to use the DVD
player
> but I kept telling myself "It's not wearing a terrible '70's BBC Costume
> department outfit, so it can't be a nasty robot".  Having finally
managed to
> put the film on I sat back to relax and enjoy the proceedings.
> Hmmm...Interesting I thought as the opening sequence revealed a
middle age
> Lee Majors as Ben O'Conner, smoking a large cigar and looking
suspiciously
> like he's been dipped in fake tan and fitted with a mid-price
toupee. He's
> playing what the back of the box assur


es me is a "high stakes poker game" -
> he puts in his fake Rolex to cover the bet.  His opponents are of
course all
> the usual stereotypes which need no description here.  He wins and
throws
> some chips in the air at which point the director decides to do a
> particularly pointless arty shot.  Ben O'Conner uses his winnings to
buy a
> club for himself, his two ex-special service buddies and D'Artagnon
the son
> of their fallen comrade.  The Musketeers Club is duly opened and
before you
> can say "send in the useless bad guys" they've already turned up and
made a
> pathetic nusiance of themselves.  The bad guys want to build a
casino on the
> local indian reservation which will act as a front for a drugs
processing
> plant or some other total nonsense.  Apparently by building it on
the indian
> reservation the "Feds" won't be able to touch them...hmmm good plan.
  All
> they have to do is get the local indians to play ball, they don't.
The Bad
> guys get nasty so Bent O'ver and his pals help the indians out.  That is
> pretty much this film in a nutshell except it features lots of stupid
> musketeers references for little or no reason, lots of brainless injun
> drivel and one of the most laughable sets of villians I have yet
seen.  The
> main one looks like a rabid version of that bloke from Spaced and
Shaun of
> the Dead (Simon Pegg?).  His girlfriend is some daft tart who is
attempting
> some kind of accent with all the skill of well a daft tart actually.
  As for
> the rest, oh dear - not big not hard and certainly not at all clever.
>   It's a shame to see Lee Majors in this kind of low budget straight to
> looney..I mean bargain bin stuff.  He used to be the Six Million
Dollar Man
> you know, with all those robotic implants...robotic NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH LEAVE ME ALONE NYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA.........

#72 From: "Rudi" <ruud@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:49 pm
Subject: Operation Delta Force bigfatkipper
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Hi Rangi,
Thanks for the offer of the Operation Delta Force Films.  We have got 1-3
but it would be good to see number 4 because life has been good lately and
our supplies of prozac are going to waste (they do have a use by date after
all).
   On a more serious note I'm glad to hear that you managed to avoid getting
blown up last week.  What times we live in hey?

Cheers,
Rudi.

#71 From: "Rudi" <ruud@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:34 pm
Subject: Musketeers Forever bigfatkipper
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Hi,
Well what can I say?  I watched Musketeers Forever.  Laura went out and I
was at a bit of a loose end.  I was going to play some San Andreas on PS2
but I suddenly suffered a particularly bad attack of the old robophobia.
Once I'd crawled out from under the table and apologised to the neighbours
for screaming so much, I had a quick look for something to watch instead.
"Musketeers Forever, that looks fun" I said to myself whilst mopping the
dribble from my chin.  I almost lost it when I went to use the DVD player
but I kept telling myself "It's not wearing a terrible '70's BBC Costume
department outfit, so it can't be a nasty robot".  Having finally managed to
put the film on I sat back to relax and enjoy the proceedings.
Hmmm...Interesting I thought as the opening sequence revealed a middle age
Lee Majors as Ben O'Conner, smoking a large cigar and looking suspiciously
like he's been dipped in fake tan and fitted with a mid-price toupee. He's
playing what the back of the box assures me is a "high stakes poker game" -
he puts in his fake Rolex to cover the bet.  His opponents are of course all
the usual stereotypes which need no description here.  He wins and throws
some chips in the air at which point the director decides to do a
particularly pointless arty shot.  Ben O'Conner uses his winnings to buy a
club for himself, his two ex-special service buddies and D'Artagnon the son
of their fallen comrade.  The Musketeers Club is duly opened and before you
can say "send in the useless bad guys" they've already turned up and made a
pathetic nusiance of themselves.  The bad guys want to build a casino on the
local indian reservation which will act as a front for a drugs processing
plant or some other total nonsense.  Apparently by building it on the indian
reservation the "Feds" won't be able to touch them...hmmm good plan.  All
they have to do is get the local indians to play ball, they don't.  The Bad
guys get nasty so Bent O'ver and his pals help the indians out.  That is
pretty much this film in a nutshell except it features lots of stupid
musketeers references for little or no reason, lots of brainless injun
drivel and one of the most laughable sets of villians I have yet seen.  The
main one looks like a rabid version of that bloke from Spaced and Shaun of
the Dead (Simon Pegg?).  His girlfriend is some daft tart who is attempting
some kind of accent with all the skill of well a daft tart actually.  As for
the rest, oh dear - not big not hard and certainly not at all clever.
   It's a shame to see Lee Majors in this kind of low budget straight to
looney..I mean bargain bin stuff.  He used to be the Six Million Dollar Man
you know, with all those robotic implants...robotic NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH LEAVE ME ALONE NYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA.........

#70 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:33 am
Subject: Re: Robophobia aj00f
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Just to let you know I dont actually suffer from Robophobia but I am
currently suffering from World of Warcraft Syndrome which quite
frankly is worse than being addicted to crack, certainly more
addictive anyway. :-)

Ant.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "aj00f" <idiots@c...> wrote:
> Just wondered if any of you knows anyone that suffers from Robophobia,
> which is a mind numbing illness that is basically the unrelenting fear
> of robots. Quite a nast affliction I must say, I here Rudi has
> troubles when he is using a toaster which is quite sad unfortunately.
>
> Ant

#69 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:30 am
Subject: Robophobia aj00f
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Just wondered if any of you knows anyone that suffers from Robophobia,
which is a mind numbing illness that is basically the unrelenting fear
of robots. Quite a nast affliction I must say, I here Rudi has
troubles when he is using a toaster which is quite sad unfortunately.

Ant

#68 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:26 am
Subject: Re: The Last Yellow aj00f
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Van Helsing looks terrible but I can assure you the chronicles of
Riddickulous will not fail to shock you into a coma. It's unbelievably
bad, dame Judi Dench WTF where you thinking... ....(��) (��) I think.

Rangi you are a bastard, those films are so bad, please DO NOT send
them to us otherwise I might have to send you back a parcel bomb.
Anyway when you going to come and visit and join in our shit film
marathon. We also have an Amiga 1200 permenantly setup so we can
massacre you on the Indy heat demo.

Ant.


--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, Rangi Robinson
<rangi.robinson@f...> wrote:
> A few weeks ago I got Delta Force 1, 2, 3 and 4 on dvd for �1.50 at the
> post office - I'll have to send it down for you guys to review if you
> haven't already done so...
>
>
>
> Rudi wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> > Forgot to mention that I Watched the Last Yellow today.  I'm sorry to
> > report
> > that it was dreadfully mediorce.  What a shame, when i had such
low hopes
> > for it.  It even raised the odd smile - when it was trying to,
which isn't
> > really right.  Ho hum.  Maybe I'll have a look at The Chronicles
of Riddik
> > some time soon to remind myself how a shit film should be made.  That
> > reminds me, there's still van helsing to watch...
> >
> > Cheers,
> > Denise Crosby's Number 1 Fan.
> >
> >
> >
> >
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >     *  Visit your group "celluloidsuicide
> >       <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/celluloidsuicide>" on the web.
> >
> >     *  To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >        celluloidsuicide-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
<mailto:celluloidsuicide-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com?subject=Unsubscribe>
> >
> >     *  Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> >       Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
> >
> >
> >
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> >

#67 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:22 am
Subject: Re: Stock Take aj00f
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CHRIST and I thought I had a lot to watch. Add to that the 15 or so
from my collection and we need a few SERIOUS marathons to clear the
back log. I had forgotten about Space camp, still not as bad as the
selection you got me, perhaps we should 'loose a couple more in the
move' ala Progeny especially space camp, musketeers forever ALL of the
delta force films etc.

Ant.

PS Rangi, you should come down to my new house and join us in a shit
film marathon.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "Rudi" <ruud@b...> wrote:
> Hello Shit Film Enthusiasts,
>
> I have today performed a little stock take on my shit film
collection and
> discovered the following as yet unwatched gems:
>
> The Last Bus Home (This looks like a drama so it's going to vanish)
> Armageddon
> Danger Zone
> Space Camp (Ant thought his Birthday presents were bad...)
> Dead Fire
> Musketeers Forever
> Operation Delta Force 1&2
> Cradle of Fear
> Terminal Rush
> Golden Ninja Warrior
> The Ninja Squad
> Boogey Man 1&2
> House III
> Skeletons in the Closet
> Vampire Clan
> Beyond the Door 2
> With Friends Like These
> Halloween 4&5
> Sweepers
> Hardcase & Fist
>
> And that's not including some others that we haven't really looked at
> properly... OH DEAR
>
> Cheers,
> Robophobic Ruud

#66 From: Rangi Robinson <rangi.robinson@...>
Date: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:52 am
Subject: Re: The Last Yellow rangi_robinson
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A few weeks ago I got Delta Force 1, 2, 3 and 4 on dvd for £1.50 at the post office - I'll have to send it down for you guys to review if you haven't already done so...

Rudi wrote:

Hello, Forgot to mention that I Watched the Last Yellow today. I'm sorry to report that it was dreadfully mediorce. What a shame, when i had such low hopes for it. It even raised the odd smile - when it was trying to, which isn't really right. Ho hum. Maybe I'll have a look at The Chronicles of Riddik some time soon to remind myself how a shit film should be made. That reminds me, there's still van helsing to watch... Cheers, Denise Crosby's Number 1 Fan.

#65 From: "Rudi" <ruud@...>
Date: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:29 pm
Subject: The Last Yellow bigfatkipper
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Hello,
Forgot to mention that I Watched the Last Yellow today.  I'm sorry to report
that it was dreadfully mediorce.  What a shame, when i had such low hopes
for it.  It even raised the odd smile - when it was trying to, which isn't
really right.  Ho hum.  Maybe I'll have a look at The Chronicles of Riddik
some time soon to remind myself how a shit film should be made.  That
reminds me, there's still van helsing to watch...

Cheers,
Denise Crosby's Number 1 Fan.

#64 From: "Rudi" <ruud@...>
Date: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:21 pm
Subject: Stock Take bigfatkipper
Offline
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Hello Shit Film Enthusiasts,

I have today performed a little stock take on my shit film collection and
discovered the following as yet unwatched gems:

The Last Bus Home (This looks like a drama so it's going to vanish)
Armageddon
Danger Zone
Space Camp (Ant thought his Birthday presents were bad...)
Dead Fire
Musketeers Forever
Operation Delta Force 1&2
Cradle of Fear
Terminal Rush
Golden Ninja Warrior
The Ninja Squad
Boogey Man 1&2
House III
Skeletons in the Closet
Vampire Clan
Beyond the Door 2
With Friends Like These
Halloween 4&5
Sweepers
Hardcase & Fist

And that's not including some others that we haven't really looked at
properly... OH DEAR

Cheers,
Robophobic Ruud

#63 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:21 pm
Subject: Re: Sin City aj00f
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Dont worry Rudi and me are going to get you a copy so you are as
equally tortured as us.

Hopefully that bastard Rudi will post his thoughts on the film.

Definetely one for the Bobby's blockbuster bollocks list.

#62 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:03 pm
Subject: Re: Wacko aj00f
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Sorry, but where exactly did you hear this news?!?!? He's not allowed
children in the bed anymore, only allowed in the bath with him from
now on.

Poor old Whacko.

Ant.

#61 From: "bill_gates_isapieceofshit" <Robert_Guppy@...>
Date: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:41 pm
Subject: Wacko bill_gates_i...
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Wacko is a free man thankfully as otherwise is wouldn't of been worth
me  building him a robopleegic wrong cock.

He is now marching arround franticly colleting children to fill his
bed. What a nutter.

#60 From: "bill_gates_isapieceofshit" <Robert_Guppy@...>
Date: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:38 pm
Subject: Re: Sin City bill_gates_i...
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Yet another over budgeted film sold to the ultra style merchants.

Sounds like a right shitter, glad i didn't have to be toutured by it.

#59 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:50 am
Subject: Sin City aj00f
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FFS DO NOT WATCH THIS SHIT

This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. As soon as I saw the
names `Robert Rodriguez' and `Quentin Tarantino' my heart sunk as I
new I was due for a horrendous helping of ultra style and ego wanking.
In true Tarantino/Rodriguez style it is ludicrously violent, stupidly
stylish and just loves to seem `cool' all you end up with though is a
horrendous mess of a film that spends so much time trying to be cool,
it doesn't realise that its boring the audience into a stupor UNLESS
you are dumb enough to be taken in by the ultra style merchants, and
believe the hype.

AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


IT WAS SO FUCKING AWFUL

TARANTINO AND RODRIGUEZ GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU ULTRA STYLE MERCHANT
TOSSERS.

#58 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Sun Jun 5, 2005 7:17 pm
Subject: The Shrine aj00f
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Hi all,

Wow its been a quiet few weeks on the shit film front! Not suprising
really as I have been moving house.

The shit film 'shrine' room in our house is nearly complete and is
awesome. It's so good to have an Amiga permenantly setup, I cant
believe it has been 10 or so years since me and Rangi made made 'Emu
Hunter C' and it's great to see it still plays as well as ever.... I
am really excited about Ruud sticking some new games on the Amiga -
this will be awesome!

So now we just need to choose some awesome pictures to frame on the
wall... ...Good luck chaps!

Ant.

#57 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Tue May 10, 2005 12:37 pm
Subject: Season 4 of 24 (Some spoilers revealed IF you havent seen series 3) aj00f
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WOW this is really good, watched the first 3 episodes last night -
stunning stuff. The only draw backs were some PUKE inducing 'I love
you scenes' in the first episode that had both Niki and I wretching
with the disgustingness of it. It's all new though - the cast is
almost all new, looks like Kim, Chase, Tony, Michelle, Palmer are not
in the series but who knows I cant believe we have seen the last of
David Palmer OR Tony Almeda although if Kim is gone that is a bonus :O
but the mental Chloe is still there. Great plot so far and as usual,
pretty stereo typical towel heads are causing problems except this
time they are Turkish which is LESS THAN BELIEVABLE.

Cheers, Ant.

#56 From: celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tue May 10, 2005 8:51 am
Subject: New file uploaded to celluloidsuicide celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com
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#55 From: "aj00f" <idiots@...>
Date: Tue May 10, 2005 7:17 am
Subject: Re: Invasion Earth aj00f
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Oh come on you two - it was a good film.......

AAHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

God it was bad, but the real question is - was it worse the an the
Howling VI?

I know which one I would rather watch.....

Ant.

--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "Rudi" <ruud@b...> wrote:
>
Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!