lol especially at all the Robophobia problems you seem to behaving,
still perhaps we can actually have that in the review for the website?
Sounds like I missed some classic drivel, might have to borrow that
from you sometime :-O

Ant.



--- In celluloidsuicide@yahoogroups.com, "Rudi" <ruud@b...> wrote:
> Hi,
> Well what can I say? I watched Musketeers Forever. Laura went out
and I
> was at a bit of a loose end. I was going to play some San Andreas
on PS2
> but I suddenly suffered a particularly bad attack of the old robophobia.
> Once I'd crawled out from under the table and apologised to the
neighbours
> for screaming so much, I had a quick look for something to watch
instead.
> "Musketeers Forever, that looks fun" I said to myself whilst mopping the
> dribble from my chin. I almost lost it when I went to use the DVD
player
> but I kept telling myself "It's not wearing a terrible '70's BBC Costume
> department outfit, so it can't be a nasty robot". Having finally
managed to
> put the film on I sat back to relax and enjoy the proceedings.
> Hmmm...Interesting I thought as the opening sequence revealed a
middle age
> Lee Majors as Ben O'Conner, smoking a large cigar and looking
suspiciously
> like he's been dipped in fake tan and fitted with a mid-price
toupee. He's
> playing what the back of the box assur


es me is a "high stakes poker game" -
> he puts in his fake Rolex to cover the bet. His opponents are of
course all
> the usual stereotypes which need no description here. He wins and
throws
> some chips in the air at which point the director decides to do a
> particularly pointless arty shot. Ben O'Conner uses his winnings to
buy a
> club for himself, his two ex-special service buddies and D'Artagnon
the son
> of their fallen comrade. The Musketeers Club is duly opened and
before you
> can say "send in the useless bad guys" they've already turned up and
made a
> pathetic nusiance of themselves. The bad guys want to build a
casino on the
> local indian reservation which will act as a front for a drugs
processing
> plant or some other total nonsense. Apparently by building it on
the indian
> reservation the "Feds" won't be able to touch them...hmmm good plan.
All
> they have to do is get the local indians to play ball, they don't.
The Bad
> guys get nasty so Bent O'ver and his pals help the indians out. That is
> pretty much this film in a nutshell except it features lots of stupid
> musketeers references for little or no reason, lots of brainless injun
> drivel and one of the most laughable sets of villians I have yet
seen. The
> main one looks like a rabid version of that bloke from Spaced and
Shaun of
> the Dead (Simon Pegg?). His girlfriend is some daft tart who is
attempting
> some kind of accent with all the skill of well a daft tart actually.
As for
> the rest, oh dear - not big not hard and certainly not at all clever.
> It's a shame to see Lee Majors in this kind of low budget straight to
> looney..I mean bargain bin stuff. He used to be the Six Million
Dollar Man
> you know, with all those robotic implants...robotic NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH LEAVE ME ALONE NYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA.........