Rick REED RxR arexar4@... wrote:

I remember every second
of that first and last visit
to see Santa Claus.

I was either two or three
years old that previous
October 13th, I AM not
sure which now.

But I DO remember the
day I left the baby bed
for a regular bed,
so I usually don't
forget a thing.

Santa's Workshop or
whatever they call it...
his North Pole Center,
was at either Goldsmith's
or Lowenstien's
Department Store
in downtown Memphis.

They were the Memphis
version of the all time
competitors of NYC's
Macy's and Bloomingdale's.

And they WERE top-notched,
eletist type.

I don't think we normally
shopped there as we
were more the Dollar Store
types.

We got by, and had all
the things we NEEDED....
not always the things we
wanted RIGHT when we
wanted them, but things
always did come in time.

We were for the most part
good boys and girls and/or
GREAT actors.

Santa's North Pole land
was about as elaborate
as you could imagine
for the early l950's.

Tacky as heck by today's
standards where he
probably arrives daily in
a pretend Space Shuttle
pulled by Power Packed
Nuclear Reindeers.

(I haven't been since the
first visit, so I AM just
guessing.)

Today, Rudolph's Red Nose
is probably out-flashing any
9ll Emergency Vehicle.

In my North Pole Day,
he was stuffed....or was
it cardboard?

Anyway, there was this
very lengthy line of kids
waiting to sit on the fat
man's lap, and it seemed
like an awful long time to
wait to get a chance to
scream your guts out and
wet and shit your pants all
at the same time...but...
I almost made it.

It was a long line, winding
this way and that, curving
here and there, and the
trip to his throne, for lack
of a better word for it.....
being so long might have
made it worst on me.....
the fear of the unknown
just dragged out too long,
and the anxiety stressed
beyond belief.

Well...that fat man just
scared the living crap
out of me.

Just the very sight of him,
and his getting bigger and
bigger by the minute as I got
closer and closer didn't make
things any easier by the time
I got TO him.

I was so traumatized,
I don't recall if I actually
sat on his lap, for the photo
or if Mother DID rescue
me and just walk me away.

All I recall is freezing,
perhaps becoming comatose
when our eyes met.

I was born into a Christian
environment anyway.

I had been in the Church
since diapers.

Back in those days,
there was something
going on at Church every
night and we WERE there
MOST Nights.

That imbedded in me might
have been part of the
reason for my running afoul
of the whole Santa Claus play.

Perhaps even then I knew
HE had nothing to do with
the Season.

Who can say?

But I AM just fine today.

I did not turn into a
Santa Claus
serial killer though I Am
suddenly coming up
with some new ideas
for my next screenplay.

I would enjoy putting
Stephen King
out of business, as
well as
Santa Claus and
make
a fortune at it.


For some reason,
I just wasn't into the
HO HO HO !!!

I enjoy that other one...
HaHaHeHeHoHo.

(Are they coming to take
me away?
cool..ANYWHERE
BUT THE NORTH POLE !!!)


Rick REED RxR Comedy Club
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Rick REED RxR Rash Riot Radio - 31 Songs
http://members.soundclick.com/arexar4

Rick REED RxR for President 2008
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rick-reed




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