Not to scorch anybody's feathers here, but JLo WON the lawsuit being
pursued by Glow, the perfume company. That's what I heard on CNN,
and I hope I can trust them.

As for JLo herself, I don't think she's much of a singer. Her range
is somewhat limited, unless she hits high notes that only dogs can
hear. That new song with LLCoolJ kinda makes me wanna chuck my radio
out the window, but then I wouldn't be able to see what time it was.
Damn those radios!!!

And I've seen what she calls "acting". She didn't have many lines in
The Cell (a good thing) and Maid in Manhattan was so covered in
sugarey sop and donkey dung that I left the theatre in tears, crying
that I'll never get back those two hours of my life.

And marrying "the sexiest man alive" Ben Affleck? I coughed up my
burrito when I heard that. Ben Affleck is such a stick. (Where was
I when he was voted Sexiest Man Alive? Oh, yeah, I was on Mars with
both my eyes closed and fingers in my ears.) His awshucks attitude
doesn't register with me.

And what's the fuss about JLo's butt? Please, each cheek must have a
different congressman. If that's the polite way of saying she is an
ass, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Don't like her one bit.

Exit, stage right.

Eldon