StoryNotesNewsletter #21

Due to "popular demand" --
having been asked many
times, and seeing the
question posed on many a
newsgroup or message board
-- we shall now take a light-
hearted look at the several
ways a phone conversation can
be dramatized ... and how to
format them.

But first: if you're thinking
about obtaining a screenplay
evaluation, see the info (and
the discount) at the end of
this article.


ISSUE #21

* * FORMATTING PHONE CALLS * *

How does one use the "Intercut" technique -- for phone
calls, or for other situations? And what are the other
options for phone calls?

We will now look at *all* the various ways a screenwriter
can enact phone conversations -- and we'll see how they are
formatted.

5 WAYS TO FORMAT PHONE CALLS

There are five ways a phone call can be handled in a
screenplay..


1. We see and hear one person, but we don't see or hear
the other.

2. We see and hear one person, but only hear the other.

3. We see and hear both, alternating between the two,
using a slug line each time. This is best for short
conversations.

4. We use the "Intercut" technique, and let the director
and/or editor decide who we'll see when.

5. Split Screen (rarely used, but an option).


Four of the five techniques are illustrated in a scene
below.

The one technique not shown:

For short phone conversations, one can just keep
alternating the sluglines, so first we are at INT. JACK'S
STUDY - DAY, and then at EXT. BEACH - DAY (SAME), then
INT. JACK'S STUDY [no need to re-establish "DAY"], then
EXT. BEACH again.

If the phone call is long enough to require more "back and
forths" than that, chances are one should go with one
of the four options discussed -- and demonstrated! --
below, such as the "INTERCUT" option.

And now ...

Five Ways to Format a Phone Call!

NOTE: If you are viewing this online at Yahoo's
StoryNotesNewsletter site in the "individual message" mode,
then the formatting that follows will be incorrect!
To see it correctly laid out, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StoryNotesNewsletter/messages/20?
expand=1

(Be sure to include the "expand=1" in the url.)

Then scroll down to Message 26, Issue 21: "Formatting Phone
Calls."

And now, this time for real ...

Five Ways to Format a Phone Call!



INT. JACK'S STUDY - DAY

Jack paces, his cordless phone plastered to his ear.

JACK
Sounds good, but where do I write
"Intercut"?

EXT. BEACH - SAME

Herbie luxuriates on a lounge chair. Cell phone in play.

HERBIE
After you've established both
scenes. Then after that, just
write the scene as though they're
in the same place.

INTERCUT Jack and Herbie.

JACK
All right, that's simple. But how
do I end it?

HERBIE
If the scene ends, just go to your
next scene. To the new slugline.

JACK
But Herbie -- what if the scene
*doesn't* end? What if one of 'em
hangs up and the other keeps
talking?

Herbie is distracted by a young couple slathering each
other with oil.

HERBIE
Gotta go, Jack.

Herbie clicks off.

END INTERCUT.

Jack reads the above line of scene description and sighs,
relieved. Then punches a number.

HERBIE (V.O.)
Yeah?

JACK
Herb, I forgot to ask. If we don't
want to see the other person --
just hear them -- do we write a
name slug extension of "V.O." or
"O.S."? Voice Over or Off Screen?

HERBIE (V.O)
I know what the terms mean.

JACK
That was for the benefit of the
audience. Or for any newbies
reading this. I'm a considerate
guy, Herbie. So is it "O.S.," or
"V.O."?

HERBIE (V.O.)
If I'm in the next room talking to
you... or in the same room, but out
of camera range, it's "O.S."

JACK
No, you're somewhere else. And
over the phone. Just like right
now.

HERBIE (V.O.)
Then use "V.O." As in a "voice over
the phone." Now goodbye!

Click. Jack seems nearly happy. Then punches "redial."

JACK
Herb, I forgot to ask --
(holds the phone away)
Gee... don't gotta yell. I just --
(beat)
I don't think that's physically
possible, Herb.
(listens)
Herb, I'm just gonna leave you
alone a while. Bye.

He hangs up.

JACK
Talk about rude.

He stares at the phone. Tries to resist. It's a great
cinematic moment of inner conflict. Reaches, pulls back.
Again.

Finally... his finger quivers over the "REDIAL" button.
And... pushes it!

EXT. BEACH - SAME

Herbie, now getting his back oiled by a young lovely.
Hears the phone. Shakes his head. Couldn't be. Clicks
"on."

SPLIT SCREEN - JACK'S STUDY AND BEACH

JACK
Herbie...

Herbie rises to his feet, unwittingly knocking the poor
woman back.

HERBIE
You got a screw loose or somethin'?
I swear I'm gonna come over there
and stuff a formatting book down
your throat!

JACK
I've checked those books. This
stuff wasn't covered. Now...
before you hang up...

HERBIE
You're the one with hang-ups!

JACK
We've... we've covered four ways
to handle phone calls. One person
talking and we can't hear the other,
interspersed with parentheticals
like "beat," "listens," and stuff.

Herbie is punching a pillow.

HERBIE
I remember; I was there!

JACK
And then the old "V.O" method --
not "O.S." -- see, I remembered,
Herbie!

Herbie's starting to whimper.

JACK
And of course the classic "Intercut"
technique. And finally...

HERBIE
I love the sound of that word...!

JACK
The "split screen" technique,
formatted very similarly to how we
do "Intercut." But you know, if
the scene *started* with the split
screen... then... Herbie?

Herbie replies dully. A beaten man.

HERBIE
You just precede the two scene
headings with SPLIT SCREEN: along
the left, and then below it, one
atop the other, write the two slug
lines. Or on the same line if
they're short, separated by a
slash.

JACK
But I imagine that's a technique
that should be used very rarely.

HERBIE
Now I want ya to imagine somethin'
else!

JACK
So four ways to format a phone
call, Herbie? Huh? Herbie?

Herbie knows he shouldn't say it... but...

HERBIE
If you want to see both parties...

JACK
Sounds like a party over there,
Herbie. I hear people having fun.

HERBIE
Yeah well I ain't one of 'em.
Anyways, if you want to see both
parties, but it's a short phone
call, then "Intercut" isn't worth
it.

JACK
(starts to panic)
Well then... what...?

HERBIE
In that case, just put new
sluglines two or three times. If
it's more than, oh, say, four times,
then intercut instead. Otherwise
just write the old sluglines. You
can omit the "Day" and "Night" in a
situation like that.

JACK
So five ways to format a phone
call! Herbie, how can I ever thank
you?

HERBIE
In your next script, don't have so
many friggin' phone calls. No one
wants to watch two people gab on
the phone all the time!

END SPLIT SCREEN.

Jack sets the phone down on the desk. Pushes it away.
Sits. A look of almost beatific peace. Then...

A troubling thought. He sits up, disturbed.

JACK
What about the montage sequence
coming up?

He grabs the phone. And... yes... hits "redial."

JACK
Herbie?


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

Beneath the bandages, Jack's face can -- barely -- be
discerned.

JACK
(muffled)
Who *wrote* that damn scene?


Jeff Newman, StoryNotes
http://storynotes.com

# # #

Copyright 2002 by Jeff Newman
All Rights Reserved

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To read past articles ...


For Issues 1-15:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StoryNotesNewsletter/messages/3?expand=1

(Be sure "expand=1" is included with the url; it's best to
highlight/select starting from the end of the above url,
then copy and paste.)

For Issues 16-20:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StoryNotesNewsletter/messages/20?
expand=1

(See above parenthetical note.)

Due to a Yahoo Groups error, some newsletter subscribers
did not receive the last two issues, sent out over the last
two weeks: "Premises, Premises" and "The Hook." If you
didn't receive them, they can be viewed by clicking the
second link above, and scrolling down.

Jeff Newman, StoryNotes
e-mail: storynotes@...
http://storynotes.com