SNEAK PREVIEW MOVIE REVIEW FOR "ANACONDAS: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID" STARRING
MORRIS CHESTNUT, EUGENE BYRD, AND SALLI RICHARDSON

Do you remember the very first "Anaconda"? Sure, it was cheesy and pure
mindless entertainment, but it had an excellent cast (Jennifer Lopez, Jon
Voight, Owen Wilson, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde) and was very fun to
watch. The scene where the snake spits out Jon Voight and his half digested
body winks at Jennifer Lopez is one of the most memorable scenes from any film,
whether it be about a sinking ship or a mutant anaconda. So why would they want
to make a sequel? Well, the original made oodles and oodles of cash and was
very popular that year. Therein lies the problem -- that year was 1997. It is
now 2004. I think a seven years gap might have some effect on the box office
potential of a sequel. Not to mention, this one has been in development hell
for a couple years now; I'm not even sure if this is technically considered a
sequel to the original anymore.

In this edition of the anaconda saga, a group of scientists, hired by a
pharmaceutical company, travel to the jungles of Borneo to search for a rare
flower known as the blood orchid. The blood orchid is very powerful and might
hold the secret to granting human beings longer life -- it's kind of like the
'flower of youth'. However, what they discover is that the flower is already in
use -- by the monster anacondas that live in the jungle. They use the flower to
become super strong and deadly. The group also has to worry about each other,
much as they did in the original. Something as powerful as a flower that grants
longer life would bring the bastard and/or bitch out in all of us. That is
essentially the entire plot of this film, a 'supposed' sequel that seems like it
belongs in another year...or maybe doesn't even belong at all.

First of all...I have to get this out of the way...there are no anacondas in
Borneo. So, essentially, the entire plot of this film is total crap. Anacondas
are a snake native to the Amazon. To simplify that -- if the Amazon was burnt
to a crisp, the anaconda species would be virtually wiped out. There are just
no anacondas in Borneo. I really don't know whom to credit this goof to, but it
might go down as one of the worst in cinematic history...that is assuming that
anyone other than the cast and crew even remember this film exists in a couple
of weeks. The odd thing is that, considering the competition this week --
"Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2" -- this film will probably top the box office,
unless "Exorcist: The Beginning" can hold fast. I hope it can.

We've gone from Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, and Owen Wilson to Salli
Richardson, Johnny Messner, Morris Chestnut, and Nicholas Gonzalez. This cast
is so B-List, Morris Chestnut is the big star of the film. Surely they could
have found the money for at least a couple A-List actors...even Rutger Hauer or
Dolph Lungren would have been better than this. Hell, I would have gladly paid
eight bucks to see Dolph Lungren beat the crap out of an anaconda, even though
it cannot possibly be anacondas because there are no anacondas in Borneo. We
will just call them 'Borneo snakes'. Anyways, this cast is really, really bad.
Their acting is really, really bad. It kind of reminded me of the acting in Uwe
Boll's "House of the Dead". Yeah -- that bad.

"Anacondas" is directed by a man named Dwight H. Little. He has accumulated
such an impressive resume thus far -- "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael
Myers", the hideous version of "Phantom of the Opera", "Marked for Death",
"Rapid Fire", "Murder At 1600", and the greatest film of all-time, "Free Willy
2: The Adventure Home". It is terrible to think that, with such class act
motion pictures under his belt, a film like "Anacondas" could ruin his career.
Actually, the biggest question I have is -- why would you take a bad script and
a bad cast and give them to an equally bad director? It seems like you would
want a good director to try and turn all of the crap into diamonds. That just
seems logical to me.

"Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid" is not worth the price it took to
make the ticket, much less the price it takes to purchase one. This is a sequel
that should never have been, and I suspect this film will never be thought of
again as soon as it leaves theatres and hits video shelves. This should be a
lesson to all of those studios out there making hideous sequels. Actually, Sony
Pictures is the only one that should be paying attention...alongwith
"Anacondas", they have another sequel opening this weekend..."Superbabies: Baby
Geniuses 2". This weekend could very well bankrupt Sony Pictures, and they
deserve it for having the judgement to make such terrible film.

Morris Chestnut (Gordon Mitchell)
Eugene Byrd (Cole Burris)
Salli Richardson (Gail Stern)
Johnny Messner (Bill Johnson)
KaDee Strickland (Sam Rogers)
Nicholas Gonzalez (Dr. Ben Douglas)

Directed by Dwight H. Little

RATED PG-13

HALF A POP

Billy Ray