Vell, you don’t look so creepy
In fact you look rather kyoot
You don’t hev to be all veepy
Just chew on the eye of a newt!

Yes, gulp it down, my Creeporia,
My sveet and sour sauce,
It’s been 300 years of euphoria
Since you emoijed from the vomb from vhich you vere tossed!

A lonesome desolate ectress!
A narcissist on the road to fame!
As vondrous as those stars in the sky
And Creeporia is your name!

I cherish you my dahling
Vit a light that looks real dark!
See, ve got blacklights in Smokesylvania
For those romantic nights in the park!

Oh Creepy, Creepy, Creepy
Did I make you out of clay?
Like Frankenstein’s own monster
So I vould hev somevun there to play

Vit me both day and night
(though nights seem to be more apt)
like a puppy sitting at my feet,
like a kitten in my lap!

Like a cherished little veirdo
Of the female ghoul persuasion
Transcending thoughts of mere dough,
A pale and cool caucasion!

Oh yes you are Creeporia
And you torment me vell vit fear
Yet all the voild is better
Vit your nice buttocks planted here!

Oh yes ve praise Creeporia
And those deeds that you perform
As cold as days in prehistoria
Before the oith got varm!

I vill mate you like a vampire!
I vill bite you on the neck!
I’m 496 years old
And I still ain’t a wreck!


I’ll bet you could cook bat soup
Better than a verevolf chick
I’d eat it all in vun feel svoop
And vit my tongue I’d lick

The bowl from vhere it came from
And the toes upon your feet
Mmmm it tastes better than bubble gum
And it’s better for me than meat!

And I vould tell you stories
And play skveezebox for avhile
Until you vould abhor me
Or I vould make you smile!

Oh you crack me up Creeporia
Vit your vild and vicked vays!
Did I see you valking around Astoria
Sometimes in a daze?!!!

Oh my melancholy cherub
My angel of distress
I’d give you some kind of scarab
If only you’d confess

Your love for me, as I love you
You wretched human being
Who I so enjoy listening to
And also I like seeing!

xoxoxooxo
Count Smokula
10/2/2007